Fireworks and Cinnamon Rolls

Submitted by Amy:

Peter and I got to know each other off of a web dating site.  It started out intense from the get-go.  We ended up making out in his car on the first date.

For our second date, he suggested having a picnic in a park that was due to have fireworks.  I love fireworks and I was really falling for him pretty hard, so I agreed.  I offered to make lunch and he offered to make dessert.

It started off nicely enough.  He liked the chicken salad I made, and I liked his cinnamon rolls.  We talked and talked as we waited for it to get dark.

We finally made it onto the topic of friends, and I casually mentioned that I got into online dating because my friend, Margot, had had some success among all of the weirdos that you meet online.

"Not Margot Wilson?" he asked.

I started at him and froze.  "Y-yeah," I said, "Margot Wilson.  You know her?"

He rolled his eyes and said, "Sure I do.  She's totally fucking nuts."

He said it with utmost sincerity.  I had to press him, "You know her?"

"Knew her.  We went on five dates.  She was the craziest girl that I've ever met.  Did you know that she wanted to run across the freeway at rush hour?  That was her idea for a third date.  I had to talk her out of it, even after she parked us at the side of the highway."

This reminded me of something Margot had said last year.  Something was floating into my memory, but I had sort of forgotten...

He continued, "And she flew off the handle for me for the most insane shit.  I opened a door for her and she flipped out all about women's lib for three hours!"

Suddenly, something clicked.  Earlier the prior year, Margot had told me about a guy she had been seeing who she "couldn't get a handle on," but once she realized that he was a habitual liar and prone to violent anger, she distanced herself away from him.  Could this have been the same guy?

As if to confirm my suspicions, Peter said, "I can't believe you're friends with that... her.  You're going to have to make a decision and quick."

My mouth opened.  I said, "Are you asking me to choose between you and Margot?"

"Ding ding ding!  She gets it!  What does she win?"

I said to him that I'd have to think about it.  He kept pressuring me for the rest of the date, and I was certainly in no mood to be around him any longer, much less mess around with him again.  I was able to let him off with a, "I need to think about this."

He dropped me off at home, I wrote him a cordial e-mail explaining that Margot had been my friend for years, and that I wasn't comfortable with the way he was making me feel.

Surprisingly, he wrote back a week later with a short but polite goodbye.  Thank goodness it was neat and tidy.


  1. Lame. Although, I think it's great the OP stuck with her friend :)

  2. DId you ever find out from your friend if she ran across the freeway at rush hour or got mad because the guy held a door open for her?

  3. 2:22, even if she did, dude was asking her to instantly choose between Margot and him. If she were the crazy one and not him, why would he try to force a choice? Why not just say he didn't want to hang with her friend unless he was also trying to hide something? Only a total asshat would say "Ding ding ding! She gets it! What does she win?"

    I was desperately hoping this would end up being a story about one of the dates already posted here. I guess i'll just go bury my disappointment in a bratwurst parfait.

  4. Yeah, while trying to make you choose between some guy you just met off the Internet and your long-time friend is definitely a red flag (that I'm glad you paid attention to), who's to say that Margot didn't just call him a habitual liar to cover up for the fact that she was apeshit insane?

  5. I'm pretty sure OP has a handle on Margot's level of sanity if they have been friends for years. Sure, people can do dumb stuff like lecturing a guy about women's lib for hours. That does not make them "apeshit insane".

    However, instantly asking someone on a SECOND DATE to make a "quick decision" to choose between them and a friend? That is not only insane, its controlling an reeks of abusive tendency.

  6. Erron, loved you taking apeshit insane to the next level.

  7. Seven-thirty5/07/2010 4:37 PM

    Agreed with Feainnewedd. Dull story on the whole.

    One thing that is strange about this account is the absence of Margot confirming that this was the guy. How do two close friends feel about having had the same guy's tongue in their mouths?

    Amy made out with Peter on the first date. How long did Margot wait before hoping in the sack with him? Do girlfriends fess up all this kind of stuff?

  8. We need to make a Bad Case of the Dates opera and stock it full of fat bitch sopranos. It will be the most awesome and dramatic opera since "Don Giovanni."

    Also, we can have entire choruses of fatties singing, "COZ YOUUUUUU'RRRRREE AAAAAA FAAAAAATTT BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCHHHH!!!"

  9. She was the craziest girl he'd ever met, and he went on 5 dates with her? Sure.


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