Caught in the Net

Submitted by Ashley:

During dinner with Brad, it came out that he was unemployed.  At first, I tried to keep an open mind.  After all, the economy was/is bad, and it might not have been due to any fault of his own.

But then, he said, "A website I was on redirected me to a porn site.  Soon as you could blink, they hauled my ass onto the red carpet and told me to get out."

I was as sympathetic as I could be.  "That's terrible.  Did you tell them that it was a redirect?"

He answered, "Yeah.  They wouldn't listen to me, though."

I asked, "So what are you doing for work?"

He replied, "Nothing.  I don't have to.  I've brought a lawsuit against the company for wrongful termination.  It's in the bag."

My breath caught in my throat.  I asked, "Did you win?"

He said, "Well, it hasn't happened yet.  I called up a few lawyers and I might be meeting with one in a couple of weeks."


"But it's in the bag," he reminded me.

I wished him, "Good luck."

He said, "Yeah.  Oh, that reminds me.  Since I'm sort of out of cash until I win my lawsuit, I don't suppose there's any way you could cover this, is there?  I'll pay you back with interest once I win."

"I don't think so, Brad.  I don't really like having the rug pulled out from under me this late into a date.  I can split it with you, but that's it."

He shoved his plate away from himself and leaned at me across the table.  "I don't have the money.  I'm going to win this lawsuit.  I'll pay you back with interest.  What's the big deal?"

I informed him, "Lawsuits can take years to work through the system.  I'm not going to pay for your dinner based on a gamble that you're going to win some lawsuit that you haven't even begun."

"Fine," he said, "We'll split it, but this is our last date."

Worked for me.  That was two years ago.  Last I heard, he's found another job, similar to the one he used to have.  Go lawsuit, go!


  1. OP you really dodged a bullet here!

  2. I guess he just wanted a free meal. Meh. Girls do that all the time.

  3. "Hey, why don't we go out on a nice date, girl I just met? Let's go to this restaurant; it's pretty great. Oh, PS: I'm unemployed. Not because of the economy, because I got caught looking at porn at work. What kind? That's not important. I'm suing the company, so I'll be *MEGA RICH*, like, totally soon. Oh, hey, PS: you can totally cover me for dinner, right? You *WON'T*?! Pffft. Bitch. No more dates with me for you!"

  4. Yay Gulliver! Nice to have you back - it might start speculation that you and Architect are the same person and take the heat offa me. OP, way to keep an open mind - so many people are hurting and getting lumped in with that douchebag is unfair. As you saw, the truly douchey will reveal themselves with minial prompting. Thanks for submitting: ahhh, how I love to read about grandiose entitlement and self-absorbtion.

  5. Nikki just paraphrased the date into a small paragraph. I'm not sure why though?

  6. I'm only 'sorta' back. I'm currently between jobs and homes. Fizziks ate me out of house and home, and my job as a prostitute hasn't gone so well since I cropped up a nice colony of genital warts. So until I get motivated to put my engineering degree into practice again and find a home Fizziks can't chew through, I'll just be stopping by at random times to call people FAT BITCH!!

  7. 9:44 - I had the day off work and was drunk. At the time, it seemed terribly brilliant. In the sober(ish) light of day...less so. Apologies.

  8. Drunk posting FTW!!

  9. ^ Nah, I think it would have been more FTW-worthy if it had been in the morning or if I had been drunk at work. As it was, I was just randomly drunk while making dinner at home and checking in on my favorite bitchy blog. :P

  10. I'm just reading through the old AbcotD - was hoping you'd show up soon - thinkIll add you to the AbcotD drinking game _ shot everytime Chunky Horse is mentioned, drink everytime Architect posts a pic link in his comment and you with the FB running gag


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