A Trip to the Break Room

Submitted by Reggie:

Isabelle was a girl I had the hots for at work.  Yes, hot work girls are taboo, but you've never met Isabelle.  You'd break quite a few taboos if ever you met her.  She had a boyfriend, but that didn't stop her from flirting with most of the guys in the office.  Except for Bill from operations.  No one flirted with him.

Turns out I was at work late one day, and I heard someone shuffling around.  I looked over my cubicle, and saw Isabelle, pushing a cart between rows of cubicles on the other side of the floor.  I didn't think that she saw me, and despite how dick-hardeningly hot she was, I kept my distance.  Work romance was taboo.  Yes, I'm contradicting what I said above, but I had a feeling that she was trouble.  Bad trouble.

So I was working at my desk when she approached from behind and put her hands over my eyes.  "Guess who?" she asked.

"Bill from operations?" I guessed.

Wrong!  It was Isabelle!  Oh, Isabelle, you joker.

"Working late?" she asked.

I replied, "Sure am!"

Then she did this weird thing with her lips, like puckering them, blowing air in and out of them really fast, and then sucking on her lower lip.  All right.

"You married?" she asked.

"Don't think so."

"Let's have a speed date.  Want to watch me masturbate in the women's room?"

I laughed and said, "It sounded like you just asked me if I wanted to... uh... heh.  Ah..."

"Yes or no?"


Next day, I was called into my boss's office.  "Sit down, Reggie," she said.  I sat.  She went on, "Security saw you going into the women's room after hours yesterday with Isabelle."

I nodded.  "The toilet was backed up.  No one was around, and I wanted to help.  I'm sorry if I wasn't supposed to."

My boss's expression softened and she said, "Oh.  Well, don't worry about it, then."


I returned to my desk.  Isabelle came up to me five minutes later.  She said, "My boyfriend wants to kick your ass."

"Why?" I asked, "Did you tell him about last night?"

She nodded.

"Oh.  Why?"

She said, "He's my boyfriend."

I asked her, "So, you want to be honest with a boyfriend while going behind his back to touch yourself in front of other guys?"

She said, "I lost you somewhere."

I opened my mouth for a reply, but she interrupted, "Busy tonight?"


"Oh," she said, and left me alone.

There are, in fact, even weirder places to get your freak on.


  1. This sounds like one of the best dates posted on this site...

  2. Dear Playboy, You won't believe what happened to me yesterday...

  3. I think it's "Dear Penthouse Letters"....

  4. I'm Bill from operations.

  5. ^^ ummmm no, 9:34 is Bill from operations. Too bad Bill can't get it up.

  6. I can't believe she didn't see how she was also in the wrong there

  7. She already got railed by Bill from operations and therefore has no need to flirt with him. She's now working on the others in classic fashion.

    @2:35 This girl has nothing else going for her other than her looks and manipulates men for fun. She obviously isn't pushing a mail cart because she is upper management potential or of any value other than eye candy for male employee morale.

    And remember guys, women are always the victim and only men are capable of sexual harassment.

  8. I have a feeling this troll-bait of a post is going to get only slightly fewer replies than the "I dated an asshole, so I blew him for a ride home" post. Good try though, Reggie. If only you'd posted this one on a Monday...

  9. right. image a guy asking a female in his office if she wanted to watch him jerk it in the restroom. he'd probably be fired.

  10. ^ Unless she wanted to watch... I mean, this guy could have turned her in, but he decided to watch instead.

  11. I thought for sure it was going Penthouse up in here.
    And it did.

    Great success, sir.

    On a side note - When is it ever going to be Bill from operations day in the sun?

  12. ^ I blew Bill in operations once. He has funky spunk. I spread the word, and that's why he doesn't get any play.

  13. Kind of hard to believe, but what the hell. I enjoyed the story.

  14. O.P.:
    Just read your first Raymond Chandler novel?
    It's hard to write like that, isn't it?
    One might say, "private dick-hardeningly hard."
    Or something.

  15. Oh noes - the author didn't invent that phrase himself?! oO!!11111!!!!111

  16. ^He had to qualify her hotness because he has such trouble getting hard. Chick knew this, hence the offer to just watch. Can't shove an oyster thru a coinslot.

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  18. Hahaha, 12:55, why get so upset on the OP's behalf unless your insurance isn't reimbusing your Viagra?

    And I'm touched you think there's a resemblence between me and your mother (and half-sister).

  19. fizziks....WEAK comeback, at best....yawn.

  20. "Except for Bill from operations. No one flirted with him." Tee hee hee. Pooooor Bill from Operations.

    I really liked this story, Penthouse letters or not. It's much better than the trash that comes after it, about the girl who waited and waited for her house arrest date to strangle her to death with her ponytail. :P At least this one was funny.

  21. Architect, if being healthy comes with the price of a lack of blowjobs, maybe it's time to find a different source of fiber and vitamin K.


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