Submitted by Moira:
Charles and I had great chemistry online and met up. We had dinner at a nice cafe and he had the idea to hit up a playground afterward.
It was nighttime and no one was around. We went down the slide, climbed up a climbing wall, and had a generally good time. Then came the tire swing.
I sat on it first and he spun me around and around so fast that I thought I'd be sick... but it was a hell of a lot of fun.
When it was his turn, I was determined to spin him even faster than he had spun me. We were laughing and spinning and having a great time...
...and the swing's rope broke, taking him down to the ground. He smashed his head and there was an unfortunate cracking noise. He was motionless.
"Charles?" I asked, deathly afraid, "Are you okay?"
He moaned a bit, then his eyes fluttered open. I helped him up and he was able to walk, but staggeringly. I insisted on bringing him to a hospital.
They saw him in a hurry. Turns out he had a minor concussion. Nothing more, thank goodness. He kept apologizing the whole time, and so did I.
When he asked me out again, we were able to laugh about it, and although we didn't go past three dates, the scare I had on that first one definitely qualified it as one of the most unfortunate dates I'd ever had.
Domestic abuse on the first date? Bravo!
ReplyDeleteYOU DODGED A BULLET THERE! THAT GUY SOUNDS PRETTY RAPEY!
ReplyDelete^ LOL 4:32
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a couple of swingers.
ReplyDeleteAt least the kids the next day had a broken bloody swing to play with, you kidders.
ReplyDeleteYou get hepatitis! And you get hepatitis! Everyone gets hepatitis!!
That date is a fake, I read it on 4chan!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I wouldn't have gone past 3 dates either. I mean having to feed someone soup while draining the shunt in their head that is there because of you can kind of be a libido killer.
^ Really? You're gonna try to bring back the "this is the worst thing ever, and i should know i read 4chan" nonsense? I expected more from you, Architect. :P
ReplyDelete^ I believe he's saying "I've read this same thing on another site (which happens to be 4chan)" rather than "I know things because I read 4chan."
ReplyDelete^maybe she's just sick of 4chan.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she's a hater.
ReplyDeleteSorry Nikki, I love nothing more than a running gag. I'll try to pick a better one next time. :P
ReplyDeleteAnd for the record I've never even been on 4chan. Everyone knows that site is for losers!
Thank you, Jared, for not posting some random link at the bottom of this post. I like the posts better before you started doing that.
ReplyDelete1:05 - I AM a hater. It's true. Not gonna pretend otherwise.
ReplyDeleteArchitect: Running gags are excellent, agreed. I just...I don't know. I feel like the 4chan ones should always be over-the-top though, you know? Not nearly as subtle as yours was. ;p Hrmm...maybe I was just grumpy that day...