The Most Tolerant Woman in the World

Submitted By Nicole:

Larry and I had been talking over a dating website for several weeks.  He seemed like a well-rounded guy who had his life together and someone I’d want to get to know better.  If anything, a friendship could develop, and who knew? Perhaps more, if the chemistry was right.

We agreed to meet at a farmers' market at a local park for a short meet and greet.

We met each other (he looked just like his pic – so far so good), grabbed a coffee, and proceeded to a bench where we could talk and get to know each other better.

Out of the blue, he brought up the subject of not being able to drive because of a DUI and rambled on about how DUIs are so overrated and that such a strict law should be eliminated - probably because his count stood at three.

If this wasn’t enough to make the law-abiding citizen in me uncomfortable, he continued with his story of how this was not his first run in with the law and how he was under HOUSE ARREST.  In case I didn’t believe it, he lifted his pant leg to show off his fancy ankle bracelet – let me tell you, it was QUITE impressive.  Hmmm… alarm bells were sounding in my head.

Throughout this entire exchange, he would continually move closer to me, all the while poking and prodding me as if I were a science experiment… or a tasty treat he was about to consume. He'd constantly reach out and have to press his fingertip to every one of my beauty marks in his vision. A little personal space if you don’t mind!

My continual requests for him to stop touching me fell on deaf ears. He even went so far as to grab at my hands and ask if he could "pop off" my acrylic nails.  Can you say "skeevies"?

As I sat there pondering my exit strategy, he complimented me on my sandals.  Not content to just voice the compliment, he suddenly grabbed my sandal, foot, and all, and continued with the compliments.  Errrm... just a bit CREEPY?

I pulled away from him and again asked that he stop touching me and told him that, no offense, but I didn't like a virtual stranger being so touchy with me.  Not heeding of my complaints, he put his hands on my neck, began massaging me and told me I needed to loosen up.

At that point, I informed him that if he didn’t keep his hands to himself, I would let loose and get touchy with him – and NOT in a good way.

Only 20 minutes had passed since we met up in the park.  This was nowhere close to turning out the way I had hoped.

As we sat there, my phone was hanging out of my pocket.  He saw it and grabbed it and despite my incredulous protests he refused to give it back.

When I asked him what he thought he was doing, he replied, “Trying to unlock your phone.  I want to see your naked photos.”

Excuse me?  Sorry, I don’t do naked photos.  Never have, never will.  And if by the remotest chance I did, I’d never in a bajillion years leave them on my phone.

After wrestling my phone from him and still sitting on the bench next to each other, he commented on how good I smelled.  I scooted away from him a bit, thinking, “Okay, he is trying to be complimentary.”  He next asked me quite directly, “Can I smell you?”

“Errm…no.  Just no.”  Ignoring my denial, he leaned into my personal space and proceeded to take a HUGE sniff. Ugh. Really?  This couldn't be real.  I MUST have been on some sort of reality dating show where your friends set you up on the worst possible date.  Right?  Right?  Unfortunately, no, this was the real deal.

By that point, I had had enough but I was trying to be polite and civil, while seriously wondering how fast I could run in sandals and if I could make it past the perimeter range of his ankle bracelet before he caught up to me and starting cutting me into pieces.

I told him that I had to get going and he offered to walk me to my car.  I thanked him but declined.  He persisted and managed to spoil even that bit of seemingly normal-ness he had shown by stating, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything to you.”

Wowzer. Now I definitely had warm fuzzies.  I managed to say goodbye and walked away without looking back, thinking, “Let’s just chalk this one up to experience.”

You would think this was the end of it.  I had been polite, but I hadn’t played all girly and coy, sending him confusing signals or anything of the sort.  There had been no chemistry, just a whole lot of total weirdness that I didn’t want to get involved with.

Once I got home, I found that he was trying to Facebook friend me.  It was odd because the request was from a different name than what I knew his to be.  When I asked about it he told me that "Larry" was his "industry" name.

I sent him a polite email stating that I wasn't interested in him in that way but I appreciated him taking the time to meet with me.  He then offered to send me his naked photos – as if that would be the clincher to change my mind and close the deal.  I politely declined and wished him good luck.

My worry was that if I didn’t make a “clean break” he would be angry at the rejection and try to hunt me down.   From our conversations that day, he seemed to be the sort who didn’t take rejection very well.  He replied to my e-mail saying, “Fair enough, I’m too much for you, I’m too wild, I understand.”

No response from me.

A second email 10 minutes later, “Seriously, wtf…I’m PHENOMENAL, most women would love to be with me.”

Again, I did not respond.

Another 10 minutes minutes passed, and yet another email was received:  “I don’t know what’s wrong with you…” blah, blah, blah and signed the email “disturbed but tolerant."

Disturbed was right. Thankfully I haven’t heard from him since.

Good thing he didn't try to kill you.  You might have stuck around with him all week.


  1. Ok, so guy you just met grabs your phone and refused to give it back, and your outrage is....

    he insinuates you have nudie pics.

    There should have been nothing futher after this point. I hope that since this date you a) took a self-defense class and b) started walking away at the second felony.

  2. For future reference: when a date shows you his house-arrest ankle bracelet? Don't stick around to be asked if he can "smell you". It's OK to let him know, right then, that you aren't intersted. F*ck being "polite". That's how women end up dead.

  3. There's polite and there's realistic. You should have left after the ankle bracelet, but if not then, then at least at his grabby hands.

    Don't be too polite, or else you might fall for the old "I won't drive you home until you give me a blow job" line.

  4. LOL @ Fizziks!

    Seriously though, I love the smell of a woman, but usually wait till the third date to try it openly.

    And who doesn't keep naked pics of themselves on their phone? What could be more of a turn-on than looking at a photo of yourself naked?

  5. Fake nails? Gross...hoenails.

  6. This date went on way too long. After the ankle bracelet showing, he would have seen a nomatophobia-shaped poof of smoke where I used to be sitting - a la Wily E. Coyote, Roadrunner.

  7. I want you to know that I haven't even finished reading your date, nor have I read the comments yet. I'm at the part where he asked you, out of the blue, if he could smell you, and you STILL hadn't punched him in the nuts or left.

    You put yourself in this horrible situation by not leaving the second he started making you uncomfortable, then you have the gall to write a long-winded story about your "poor me" date and have it posted here for us to read? Are you retarded? Did you not know that we would subsequently tear you a new one?

    *sigh* Add another story to the "bad case of the rapes" file.

  8. LMAO @ hoenails.

    This broad was practically BEGGING to get raped.

  9. C'mon y'all, no need to beat her up. I'd guess she was probably young- definitely naive.... and lucky she got away! I hope this experience taught her to be tougher and less polite for the future... I highly doubt she was a mature dater when this happened.

  10. From the look of this entry, the date lasted all of 20 minutes, perhaps 30. Can you really blame the girl for not being making a clean getaway? If she was worried about him becoming aggressive or violent, it takes a bit longer to be able to fake an exit excuse.

  11. I seriously doubt that 80% of you who are playing armchair pundit and proselytizing that you would have concluded the date much earlier would have actually done so.

  12. I agree with Coriolanus...the story noted that it was a public place and the writer seems like a nice enough person dealing with someone who seemed increasingly unstable. Good on her for being the better person and not making an uncomfortable situation even worse.

    Nomatophobia your comment made me laugh!

  13. Coriolanus gets negative points for the misuse of "proselytizing." That's like using "epic fail" for a situation that's only slightly inconvenient. Get a better thesaurus.

    If the guy was on house arrest, he has to get permission to leave the house, which really is only permitted for medical and court reasons. Not dates in the park. Either the guy is breaking probation to see you (in which, you should have put out, cause that shit's expensive), he was faking it to impress you (slightly likely), or your story is bullshit.

  14. wow everybody on this site is so hostile and angry... chill pill people. it was funny. if she was retarded or inexperienced she probably would've driven him somewhere when he asked. at least they met in a public place. i say she's a smart cookie and handled the creeper situation well!

  15. You sound hip for saying "chill pill." You know, because the two words rhyme and all. But by chill pill, do you mean ecstacy or oxycontin? Each give different kinds of "chills." I like you for advocating drug use though. You're my new favorite.

  16. Coriolanus - I would agree but a public place makes it easier to leave, not more difficult. In public, a person either must repress the full crazy or you have other people that will act as a buffer. It's totally fine to say, 'I don't think this is for me' and walk. That's more difficult to do when there is no one around and only your two cars in the lot.

  17. Fizziks - My assumption is that the date lasted as long as it did because she was in a public place. Less chance of becoming fish food when there are other people around you. I might have been more harsh on her had she been in more isolated settings. But alas, it's my belief that those on bad dates do not cut them short out of fear of being perceived in a negative light.

    Anon 7:55 - I actually used the word correctly. Maybe you should have looked up the definition of the word in a dictionary before you made that comment?

  18. proselytize
    1. To induce someone to convert to one's own religious faith.

    2. To induce someone to join one's own political party or to espouse one's doctrine.

    v. tr.
    To convert (a person) from one belief, doctrine, cause, or faith to another.


    Would you mind telling me which commenter was actively trying to convince you to join their party in taking in the doctrine that they would have in fact, as any other reader would hold a strong opinion to the opposite doctrine, walked away from this date?

    Here's one for you:

  19. Wow ... he sounds EXACTLY like a date I had about 2 months ago. To this day, he still messages me. At least once a day, telling me what an "opportunity" I'm missing and how "everybody else wants him but me." Frightening!

  20. Anonymous 7:57 - People were trying to convince me that they would have left that date a lot sooner than the OP would have based on their comments.

  21. ^ Now you're just grasping at straws there, Coriolanus.

  22. Anon 9:11 - As you can see, I used it correctly...





  24. Well anon 2:12 - it was not an issue until someone challenged me about its use. But alas, you are right. I am smart and know how to use big words, and I did not need to use a dictionary! Heck, I even spelled it correctly the first time.

    I'm not just smart, I'm über-smart!

  25. ^ But still wrong about the use of the word.
    In other words, you fail.


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