There's Some Metaphor Here, I Just Know it

Submitted by Leila:

Eddie and I met up for our first date at a bar, where he got positively sloshed and more sloshed as the night went on.  After a little while, he stopped talking and just started giggling to himself.  He went to the bathroom and came back with the biggest grin.

"You'll never guess what I just did," he said.

I had kicked back a few, but not nearly as many as he did.  Still, I didn't feel safe driving home.  I asked him, "What?"

"I either just called up my friends to join us, or I might have maybe just crapped in the sink!"

He laughed for about five minutes straight.  Not long after, two guys in black denim jackets walked in with the thinnest, waif-like girl I had ever seen.  They sat with us and Eddie just kept laughing and these guys kept laughing with him.  The girl looked around and around the bar, like she was expecting someone else.

We were both being ignored by the guys, so I asked her, "What's your name?"

She said what sounded like, "Society."

I asked her again for clarification, "Your name is 'Society'?"

She leaned in and whispered, "Can we take a walk?  I'm not feeling so good."

We walked outside, but it was pretty cold.  She sat down on a curb, put her head between her knees, and stopped moving.  I tried calling her name and shaking her shoulder a bit, but it seemed like she had just gone to sleep.

I called 911 on my cell, then ran into the bar to let the guys know.  They came out and waited with me as the ambulance came.  It took her away, and the two guys in denim jackets said, "Well, we should be going."

Eddie offered to drive me to the strip mall across the street, but I told him that I didn't live in the strip mall and that I was sobering up and felt capable of driving home.  So I went home and went to bed, hoping to wake up the next morning to find that it had all been a dream.


  1. this sounds so strange...


  2. "OMG, I'm sooo drunk!" 30 minutes later... "Okay, I'm sober now, let's go driving!"


  3. So....did he crap in the sink?

  4. Drinking and driving isn't cool OP.
    I am very disappointed in you, as well as the rubbish stories being published recently. I blame you OP

  5. The last sentence is terribly confusing.

  6. I have no idea what the metaphor is. society dies?

  7. @ 6:10 I think he did! My date telling me he may have crapped in the sink would happen right before I went screaming out the door.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.