A Girl in the Belfry

Submitted by Brenda:

Robert took me out to dinner.  He was a little quiet, but seemed to have a lot of interesting experiences to share.  He had traveled around Africa and Europe, and (according to him) saved a France-based charity from going bankrupt by literally going door to door for them to ask for funds.

He was back home in the states to finish up his undergrad degree and worked part-time at a local church.  It was the oldest church in the area, and was really beautiful.  He asked me if, after dinner, I wanted to go and see it, since he had a key.  It sounded fun and kind of daring.

I don't know how many of you have been in churches at night, but I think they can sometimes be creepy in the daytime.  Seeing it at night was really freaky, but in a good way.  We walked up the aisles, around the pews, up to the altar, and up to the balcony.  Robert was coming out of his shell a little bit and was cracking jokes.  He seemed to be feeling more comfortable with me, and I with him.

He then asked me if I wanted to see the bell tower.  Ooh yes.  He led me up there and we caught the view, which was beautiful.  He excused himself for a moment and climbed down the ladder, then closed and locked the door behind him, locking me inside.

"Uh... Robert?" I called after him.

He made a fake evil laugh and said, "I'm just kidding.  Here..."

The sound of fiddling with the door.  It didn't open.  I called his name again.  "Robert?"

I heard him mutter, "Shit!  God damn it... oh fuck..."

I looked up, hoping to not be struck by lightning, then looked down and asked, "What's the problem?" even though I had a sneaking suspicion as to what it was.

He said, "I thought that this was a master key to everything.  It won't open this door."

I called down, "Well, you're going to have to find some way to open it.  I'm not staying up here all night."

Silence.  Then, "Any way you can climb onto the roof from there?  I can open a window and pull you in."

I was incredulous.  "Are you crazy?  Climb down from the steeple?"

"That's what I would do."

"What you would do is irrelevant!  You would also lock me in here!"

He groaned.  "It wasn't on purpose!"

"Just get me out!"

"Fine, but I'm not breaking this door down.  I don't want to get in trouble."

I told him, "You're already in trouble.  If you don't get this door open in five minutes, then I'm calling my parents, and you'll like that even less!"

He didn't manage to open it, so I ended up calling my father, who met Robert downstairs and managed to jimmy the door open.

As we all went downstairs together, Robert actually said, "I told her not to go in there, but she..."

I wheeled on him and yelled, "You locked me in there!  And now you're lying about it?  I never want to see you again!"  And I didn't.

Happy Easter, one and all.


  1. One of the hottest times I've had having sex was in a church steeple.

  2. come on, this guy sounds like a lot of fun! (save the "I told her not to go up there") you need to get the stick out of your ass, as soon as he realized that the keys wouldn't work, it would've been a "just my luck" moment, and I would've been cracking up. If you're fun enough to be sneaking around a church at night with a guy you barely know, I'd think you wouldn't be so stuffy about this...

  3. This actually sounds like it would have been a fun date. Getting locked in wasn't good, but it wasn't his fault, either. I'm sure he could have found a way to jimmy the door open. Lying to her father wasn't a good idea, but he probably just wanted her father to like him. I would have given him a second chance.

  4. Why didn't you just climb down the steeple? He would have done it for you...

  5. Don't make excuses for this guy. Yes, what happened was an accident, but one that was easily avoidable. Lying to the dad was a pansyass pussy move and inexcusable. OP has a right to be pissed off that some guy she barely knew locked her in a bell tower and then expected her to risk falling to her death to save herself, on the grounds that "that's what he would have done."

  6. Are people seriously sticking up for some dude locking a girl in a bell tower on the first date and trying to lie to her dad about it? I agree that a mistake is a mistake, and that it was a forgivable offense, but the problem is in his reaction. His initial instinct was to lie to her father about how she wound up in an unsafe situation. What does that say about him?

    Someone who can't take the blame for a situation they created, especially in the face of authority (parent), is not someone I'd want to go on another date with. He has some growing up to do at the very least.

  7. I'm still trying to get over the "I'm calling my DAD" line. I don't know how old the OP is but this just seems weird to me. I'm guessing they were/are both pretty young because poor Robert, dumb ass that he is, didn't have a thought in his head as to how this could go wrong. A sure sign that he is not processing on an adult level.

    And again with the horror movie setups!

  8. @Architect: I know! I was totally waiting for this to turn into one of the classic A Bad Case of the Rapes stories, and instead the girl "just" gets locked in a bell tower. How anticlimatic!

  9. I know! Robert could have confided in her up in the bell tower about his horrible secret, the hump that had been growing on his back. Then he could have beaten her to death and added her treasured remains to the pile in the broom closet. I love a storybook ending. :

  10. OP whines too much, just climb down the damn steeple.

  11. ^^ This is the church, this is the steeple, this is the girl falling to her death from the steeple, open the door and see all the people staring in horror at the splattered human remains on the front steps.

  12. I think the tragedy of this story is that the girl didn't at least TRY to climb down. I doubt she was wearing heels. Or she could have jumped. I'm sure he would have caught her. I mean, this guy single-handedly saved a charity! He's like Superman. I'm sure he would have flown up to grab her, but he was afraid he'd accidentally give her the LASER EYES!!

  13. "Der Teufel!" groaned they, "Dirteen! Dirteen!! -- Mein Gott, it is Dirteen o'clock!!"


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