4/06/2010

Date 'n Switch

Submitted by Morgan:

When I was in college, I met Alexandra at the campus swimming pool. We bumped into each other on a semi-regular basis and had a really great rapport. She was from the Midwest and was trying to make friends. I was from a big city and was also into meeting new people and seeing where things went.

After some time of talking poolside in bathing suits, I asked her if she wanted to go out for dinner sometime. She said yes, and I felt like a million bucks. It's amazing how something like that can make your month.

I arranged to meet her outside of the house she subletted with some of her friends. I called to let her know that I was on my way, and her phone rang and went to voicemail. No biggie. I made it to her house and knocked on the door.

The lights were on within, and there was definitely some movement, but no one came down for about five minutes. Odd, but easily forgettable.

The door opened and one of her roommates opened it, a large girl with the biggest chest I'd ever seen. Holy God.

"Ready to go?" she asked me.

I responded, "Er... with Alexandra, yes. She here?"

"I am Alexandra."

I smiled, positive that Alexandra was playing some sort of trick on me. I had never seen this roommate of hers before. She was taller, larger in the chest region, and had much smaller eyes than the Alexandra I knew, and I had seen the girl in a bathing suit.

Sure that it was a game, I put my hand out to introduce myself. "Hi, I'm Morgan."

She shook my hand. "Alexandra. Ready to go?"

"You're not Alexandra. Where is she?"

"Yes I am. I'm from Missouri, my father's a doctor, my mother's a paralegal. I have two brothers. I am Alexandra."

Okay... weird. But I was equal to it. I asked, "What was the name of your first pet? We talked about it at the pool last week."

She shook her head and said, "I'm not playing this game. Are we going out or not?"

"I'm not playing a game. Where's Alexandra?"

"Okay," she said, and closed the door in my face. I tried Alexandra's number again, and it went right to voicemail.

When I saw her from the pool from then on, which was rare, she completely ignored me.

18 comments:

  1. Let's see, taller, bigger chest, and no googly eyes.....what to do, what to do? I think you should have went with it OP.

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  2. Is it possible she was wearing heels, a push up bra, and no swimming goggles?

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  3. I agree with anon at 12:31. People look different with clothing and make-up... this girl probably thought you were playing a mean trick on her.

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  4. ^ Seriously? I mean, I know all women look alike (you know, they have eyes, breasts, and usually hair), but you'd think the OP would be able to tell the difference between 2 of them if he'd been talking to one for months.

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  5. Thank you, 1:10, for being the voice of reason. I have no idea why the fuck the girl would play that kind of mind game! Like he wouldn't notice that she had sent her roommate, who is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON, on a date with him? If he had gone along with it and had had a really good time with the roommate, and something clicked with them, what then? Would "Alexandra" the pool girl get pissed at her roomie for "stealing" her date? Would the roomie finally come clean?

    I think, in the fine tradition of abcotd commenters, I'm gonna congratulate you, OP, on a large bullet dodged.

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  6. Also, Jared, you've used this title before: http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/2010/02/everybody-out-of-pool.html

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  7. She could have just declined your offer. Some people go waaaaayyyy way way out of their way to be spineless.
    What a dick move.

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  8. the biggest chest you had ever seen? dude, you totally missed out. you must have a case of the gheys.

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  9. For those who think it really was the same girl - c'mon, if someone showed up for a date with you and said, "Hey, you're not the person I asked out!" would you defend yourself by reciting your autobiography? I think a normal person faced by a date who didn't recognize them would get indignant or flustered and say, "Well, of *course* I'm me! What are you talking about?" not "Hey, I know how many brothers Alexandra has, so obviously I'm her."

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  10. ^ha, typo. Everyone knows it's teh gheys.

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  11. ...clearly she saw the outline of your 'pin-dick' through your Speedos® after the date was already made.
    Later, she sent her fat roommate, who was desperate, horny and already rolled through flour (for you to find the wet spot or any other fold that may develop) to fill in. I mean, a free dinner is a free dinner....

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  12. This is awesome. Who the hell gets the idea "I'll just send my roommate, who looks totally different, I'm sure he won't notice".. wtf? It would have been awesome if the roommate had a different skin color on top of it all :)

    But I'm with the other dudes, always make the best out of a bad(?) situation and take the girl with the big tits on the date..

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  13. This is an easy one. The OP suffers from psychosis. He never even talked to the girl at the pool, which is why she ignored him at the end. He met Alexandra (the fat girl) somewhere, asked her out, and then, owing to his deep sense of shame about dating a fat girl, his subconscious erased her from his conscious memory and made him think that Alexandra was the girl at the pool. Case closed!

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  14. @1:12 AM So the cops knew Internal Affairs was setting them up the WHOLE TIME?

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  15. ^ Your pet hates you, Meltab.

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  16. ^^ I hate Meltab too. Sounds like something someone would take if their stomachs cant dissolve chocolate.

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  17. "Alexandra" could have been testing him, to see if he would actually go out with her friend. Tests: one of the many reasons that women have unfair stereotypes cast against them.

    I'm glad I found a good woman.

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