4/06/2010

Domo Aregato, Mr. Loser

Submitted by Melissa:

Fred was an excitable, curly-haired guy from the Internet who asked me out on a date to a Japanese place.  Nothing seemed to bring Fred down.  We traded stories about past relationships.  Mine seemed particularly ugly when compared to his, and he seemed to have had comparatively fewer romantic partners, but no big deal.  Maybe he was just picky.

When he picked me up, we gave each other a hug and he passed me a white box.  Inside was a blue kimono.

Unexpected and extremely generous, I thought.  "Thank you..." I said, truly touched.

He said, "It's not for you to keep.  It's to wear out tonight.  To dinner."

I told him, "I... hmm... I'm not sure if I should wear a kimono out to a Japanese place in a strip mall..."

"Of course you should," he said, very sure of himself.

I replied, "I've been to this place before.  They don't really stand on ceremony, and I wouldn't want them to be insulted... I don't know..."

He said, "What's the big problem?  I want you to wear it.  You won't do this for me?"

Something in his tone said, "Danger!  Danger!  Red alert!" and I carefully folded the kimono back into the box.

Choosing my next words carefully, I asked, "Maybe we could do something else?  I'm just not too comfortable with this idea."

He grabbed the box away, muttered, "Should've known," and took off, just like that.


***********************************
Missed out.  You could have looked like this.

23 comments:

  1. OMG FIRST!!! WIN!

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG SECOND!!! WIN!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love how the authors sometimes post completely random details like that we was curly haired. It makes curly haired people sound insane :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's not a random detail. Every curly-haired guy I've ever dated eventually tried to get me to wear a kimono.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Really? My bad..

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have curly hair and I ALWAYS insist my date wears a kimono when we go out.

    ReplyDelete
  7. OMG SEVENTH!!! WIN!

    ReplyDelete
  8. True story: Every curly-haired guy I've ever dated/slept with has been an asshole, more so than the asshole straight-haired guys. I have curly hair, but I'm not really an asshole. Crazy, yes.

    Also, Jared: LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this link! More links to pictures of dogs! Maybe then people will stop beating you up about this new feature. ;D

    ReplyDelete
  9. The dog was only wearing the kimono so it wouldn't end up as the next meal.

    Wait a second...

    OMG TENTH!!! WIN!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I also have curly hair. But I'm a good person. I don't even own any kimonos to loan out.

    Then again, I'm typing this in blood while masturbating in vomit. And I write bad checks.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Someone has an unhealthy Asain fetish!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Everyone knows there's nothing unhealthy about an Asian fetish.

    ReplyDelete
  13. unless that asian fetish is japanese body pillows.

    ReplyDelete
  14. or tubgirl...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wow are all you commentators 12? First!!! Lame.

    ReplyDelete
  16. No, but I am at least 18(th!)

    ReplyDelete
  17. LOL @ nomatophobia and Nikki!

    ReplyDelete
  18. ^ "Everyone knows there's nothing unhealthy about an Asian fetish." -Nikki

    ... OMG this is the funniest thing I've ever read in my entire life!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. ^ I'm sorry for you. ;) but thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Arigato is spelled wrong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's an English transliteration of a Japanese word. Can it actually be spelled "right" in English?

      Delete
    2. There are standard transliteration schemes. None of them map "ありがとう" to "aregato". So yeah, I'd say it's spelled wrong.

      Delete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.