Advocate This

Submitted by Nicholas:

Gina was a girl I met online. I wrote her a short introductory message and we chatted back and forth for two weeks before I decided to ask her out.

Dinner started off simply enough. We talked about work, schooling, family, the usual.

Then, when I said, "I'm thinking about going into law school to do environmental advocacy," something I said must have contained some sort of magic spell that completely changed her personalty and sanity.

She said, "Oh, so now someone has to go to law school to be an environmental advocate? I'm an environmental advocate and I've never been to law school. Thanks a lot for trivializing me."

My first instinct was to go into defuse mode. I said, "I didn't mean to come across as trivializing. I'm sorry. What I meant was that I wanted to do environmental work from a legal vantage point..."

She interrupted me by saying, "Don't you patronize me! I can do whatever I want, without some expensive law degree," she put on a snooty impersonation of (what I guessed was) myself at the end of that phrase.

"Sorry I brought it up," I said.

"Why?" she pressed the issue ever further, "You wanted to keep it secret?"

"No, I—"

"Too late! How are you going to patronize me next? What else aren't I good at?"

I didn't want to feed her anything else, so I kept my mouth shut. Of course, this was also a mistake, as she pointed out, "Now you're not talking to me? That's real mature. What a great date you are. No wonder you're single."

I flagged the waiter down and asked for the check. We had only ordered our dinners five minutes earlier.

"What are you doing?" she asked, then when I didn't reply, she again asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting out of here. I don't want to be around you."

Her mouth dropped open. "You? You don't want to be around me?"

She picked up her pocketbook, stood, and stalked off, muttering, "Asshole," as she did.

I asked the waiter to box up both meals.  I figured that there was nothing wrong with grabbing at least a couple of dinners out of that debacle.

When I left the restaurant with the bag, though, she was outside waiting for me.  She came up to me and said, "What the fuck?  Who do you think you are?"

I ignored her all the way back to my car, climbed in, and left her there.  She texted and called me constantly for the next week, but she eventually got the message.


  1. i hope you weren't her ride....
    but nice job!

  2. holy smokes, what a jerk she was. SO insecure... you're on the same team for heaven's sake. I hope you did pursue that environmental law degree- we need more environmental lawyers!

  3. That chick didn't need any of those pesky degrees or your stuck-up snobby education. She has been recycling since it started being trendy and by god if she wanted to be a lawyer then she could do it and you couldn't stop her! Don't feel bad though, she went on a date with a rocket scientist last week and told him the exact same thing.

  4. She probably liked cucumbers better than plastic ones with batteries. But honestly lawyers have done a lot of harm so it's no wonder some people go out of their gourd when they realize they were about to sleep with one.

  5. I think full names should be allowed on this site for the sheer purpose of exposing some of these looney toons!

  6. ^ Same here. Have to make sure I don't go on dates with any lawyers.

  7. Honestly, I hope you WERE her ride, OP. It'd serve her right for being such a damn nutcase. Good luck with your law degree, if you pursue it, and better luck in the dating pool. Glad you were able to dodge that bullet!

  8. Good to see someone react sanely to insanity for once.

  9. At this point here: "What else aren't I good at?" the date could have extended by at least another 2 hours. I know you didn't want it to go on any longer, but man, the places you could have gone with that question.

    Mighty fuck, the difference between throwing a can in the recycling and bankrupting a company for milking hormone-injected clubbed baby seals and throwing their oils into groundwater is immense.
    Making an impact with a big fancy degree as opposed to working for big oil should have gotten any stupid hippie's panties wet.

  10. Archetypical Liberal.... Bet she didn't shave anything nor wore a bra


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