The Terminal High-Five

Submitted by Jordana:

Gary sounded like a catch over the Internet and over the phone.  He seemed to be constantly in a good mood, which was a welcome change from the last bunch of grumpy guys that I dated.

In person, though, Gary was a bit odd.  He'd want to high five me after almost every sentence that I said.

I said, "I'm an events coordinator at a local golf course."

"High five!"

I thought he was just being enthusiastic.  Then I thought he was nervous and didn't know what else to do.  Then I thought he was being annoying.

After I had told him that my favorite poet was Emily Dickinson (and after the high-five), I told him that he didn't have to keep high-fiving me.

He said, "Fair enough.  High five!"

I left him hanging there.  I smiled, to make it seem like I said, "Okay.  I get the joke," but he kept his hand up.  For ten seconds.  Then a minute.  He kept it there.  I'm not kidding.  We went on talking about other things for a minute or two, and I said to him, "I'm not going to slap you five.  You can put your hand down.  It must be getting tired."

"I'm good," he said.

"You look silly.  Come on.  Let's go do something else."

"Slap me five."



He kept his hand up for the rest of the date.  I kept asking him to put it down, and his response was only, "Well, you left me hanging."

He didn't call me.  I wonder if he's still out there, waiting on a street corner somewhere, for someone, anyone, to slap him five.


  1. He CAN'T call you. Most people need two hands to handle a telephone, and apparently his is still stuck in the air.

  2. It beats where his head is stuck.

  3. "I wonder if he's still out there, waiting on a street corner somewhere, for someone, anyone, to slap him five."

    Funniest ABCotD line ever.

  4. Sounds like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

  5. i dont believe this happened.

    also, it was funnier when i first saw it on seinfeld.

  6. It sounds like this guy has been repeating lines from Borat for years. Before that he was probably spouting his Austin Powers impression for years after it had ceased being funny.

  7. whether it happened or not--hilarious! just picturing that possible scenario brings on the lols.

  8. Elizabeth R.3/02/2010 7:07 AM

    Quite the catch, huh... Could someone possibly BE so socially inept? Judging by what I read here on a Case of the Dates, sadly, yes.

  9. Sounds like Barney Stinson.

  10. Barney would never overuse the high-five. He high-fives to prove a point or to drive a point home (heh), not after everything a girl says. Plus, he wouldn't high-five a girl he was trying to bone.

  11. Dammit, I thought I'd throw out the Barney Stinson reference first.

  12. Gary is much, much cooler than you.

    You have a lot of hang-ups, lady.

  13. Maybe he's into BDSM and this is his only way to function without instinctively giving a donkey punch.

    You should be more understanding to his baby steps.


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