Rhymes with "Boozer"

Submitted by Leora:

Ben's profile on the dating site hit all the right notes.  It sounded like he had friends, said that he had everything he wanted out of life, and was able to take things easy.  I liked how his sense of humor shone through, and we set up a date at a restaurant.

Early in, I noticed that something was off in the way that he would laugh after almost anything I said.  It wasn't Zeus-like peals of mighty laughter, but I'd pick up my coffee and say, "Smells good," and he'd giggle slightly.  I like cracking jokes, but not everything I said or did was funny, but for some reason, he seemed to find it so.

He also poked me in my upper arm a couple of times before I asked him to stop.

When I was in the middle of talking about a book I was reading, he said something like, "Wow.  So any chance I'll get some tonight?"

I informed him that it wasn't even a remote possibility.  He said, "I see.  Wait here a moment."

He stood up and took off.

I considered myself lucky, but early the next morning he left me a voicemail to ask me out again.  He sounded drunk when he left it, and I didn't call him back.


  1. Damn that's annoying, a little while back I was buying something and the sales guy did that nervous giggle after about everything I said.

  2. Well, at least you were spared a long, drawn-out awkward date. :P

  3. "What, no nookie? Maybe I wasn't drunk enough for ya."

    His thought process is ridiculous, but you really shouldn't give your rave review of 'Confessions of a Dominatrix' if you don't want some follow-up questions.

  4. You fellas watch too much porn.

  5. Wow, you dodged a bullet there.

    Waiting for the cliché comments now...

  6. @3:39, we fellas? Nikki and I are chicks, and I suspect anon 11:12 may be as well. Or a guy so cute the sales dude had to gush.

    But, yeah, we should still lay off the porn. ;-)

  7. porn and poon go hand in hand.

  8. let me guess, she was 15 and you work with her mom.

  9. ROFL! The constant references to TheGripester's faux date story always make me laugh out loud.

  10. There should be two kinds of dating sites: normal people looking to actually DATE, and sites for potential one night stands. This crap is why I'm so glad I'm married.


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