The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Submitted by Thomas:

About a year ago, I found Barbara online.  She was a med student who didn't seem to have the time for a relationship, much less even a single date.  We finally picked a Saturday in February.

During the week that was the lead up to the date, I thought it was weird when once or twice each e-mail or phone conversation, she'd say things like, "I can't wait to see what you're going to do.  You strike me as the romantic type," etc.

I wasn't sure what that was about until I realized that that particular Saturday was Valentine's Day.  Crap.  Our first date.  Valentine's Day.  How much is too much?  I mean, I didn't think that showing up empty-handed would be appropriate.  Then again, there is such a thing as too much.  Flowers?  Chocolates?  Tickets to a show?  An expensive dinner?

It was our first date, and we had been planning it for a while.  I wanted to play it safe, but I also wanted to express how I felt about her.  My plan was to buy a nice bouquet and take her out to a good meal.  Not a $75-per-plate, five-star affair, but a nice, quiet, romantic place.  I called the restaurant ahead of time, and they even said that they would have a live violinist to serenade the dining couples.

I showed up to her house with the flowers on the evening of Valentine's.  She took one look at them and her face noticeably dropped.  "Oh... thanks," was all she said before taking them from me and putting them on her kitchen table.

I suggested, "Shouldn't you put them in water?"

She retorted, "There are so few of them, I'm sure they'll be all right."

Ouch.  For your information, readers, there were certainly not "a few" of them.  This was a sizable bunch.

When we showed up to the restaurant, she wrinkled her face and asked, "This place?"

I asked her what was wrong with the restaurant – I had to book a reservation some time in advance.

She said, "Nothing wrong with it... I was just expecting... I don't know.  If it works for you then I guess it's okay with me.  Let's go."

I suggested going somewhere else, but she was already on her way out of the car.  She said, "You obviously think that this is a good enough place, so come on.  Let's get this done."

Whoa.  Not at all what I was expecting.  I also jumped out of the car and I asked her what the problem was.  Was it not good enough?

Her reply?  "Apparently, you don't think that I'm good enough."

"That's not fair!  I bought you flowers–"

"A few."

"It was a bouquet!  And I'm taking you out to a nice restaurant–"

She snorted and said, "Come on.  Don't ruin this.  Let's just go in and try to forget all about it."

"And be made to feel inadequate all night?  I think I'd rather take you home."

She stared at me and said, "It's Valentine's Day."

I said, "So you have flowers, and until a minute ago, you had a guy willing to take you out for a nice meal.  That's more than a lot of people have."

I dropped her off at home and aside from the obligatory, "You're an asshole" and "Happy Valentine's Day, asshole" texts, I didn't hear from her again.

I heated up some leftovers at home, and they tasted great.


  1. Good show. Hopefully this year's V-Day will be a better one for you.

  2. Nice job putting a stop to that before it got worse. I'd bet my bank account that she never got married.

  3. Kudos on standing up for yourself, unlike so many people on this site!

    PS: Not all girls are fuckin dramatic psychos about V-day. It's a stupid holiday that screws things up for guys AND girls.

  4. Elizabeth R.2/14/2010 10:20 AM

    Good grief... hard to believe how people behave, I find it shocking.

  5. lol, way to go.

  6. "We finally picked a Saturday in February."

    Sounds like it was a few weeks away. And if it was a few weeks away you probably had to look at a calendar. And if you looked at a calendar you should have realized what day it was. She might have thought you picked that day specifically. That might be why she had an attitude, she might have expected more.

    You should have rescheduled the date just so things wouldnt be weird, that day for a first date would put too much pressure on everyone.

  7. It's women like this that give my gender a bad name.

    You're right OP, she was expecting too much, AND she was rude about it too. If I had a guy pick me up for a first date with flowers in hand and take me for a nice meal, I would certainly be very flattered that he had gone to so much effort - and I would have felt like he really liked me.

    I hope your next Valentine's Day was better. :o)

  8. Good call... too many people out there that would be grateful for time, company, flowers and dinner. Jeez, it was date #1.

  9. You're a liar. Those leftovers tasted like old socks.

  10. On with you for standing up when shit was going wrong. You dodged a bullet there, Neo.

  11. I agree, kudos for just putting a stop to it then and there. You gave her a few chances, she continued to act like a douche, good on you.

  12. You sound like a catch, OP - balanced, courteous, able to hold your tongue up to a point, but then speaking your mind when you need to. I predict you will find someone worthy of you soon.

    I LOVE THAT YOU CUT THE DATE SHORT when you realized what a gold-digger she turned out to be. GOOD FOR YOU!

    And even looking forward at a calendar, @ 12:59, the date February 14 would not immediately leap out at me...not unless I was a money-grubbing, exploitative, ungrateful bitch waiting for the right excuse to take advantage of any guy who doesn't keep a planner full of Hallmark holidays.

  13. @10:09

    Who wouldnt know February 14 was Valentines day?

    I know, someone who never recieved a Valentine!

  14. I have dated med students who are sometimes matter-of-fact and very blunt about something. It doesn't mean they are gold diggers or that they want to hurt you. Its just that they say what they think and do not sugarcoat it with nice words. As for the bouquet and the restaurant, yes, they sometimes have higher expectations than you might expect but if you ignore the barbs and finish the date, you may be surprised to find them quite sweet otherwise. Just my experience...

  15. @Nikki, Funny you said that, I just read an article about the useless stress that Vday can put on a couple.

    Nice move buddy, she obviously dont deserve your company.

  16. AnnBoner (love the name): link to the article?

  17. @Nikki

    In french? Not much to read though. She may have a more in depth article on the subject somewhere else.



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