The Love Juggler

Submitted by Betsy:

I met Keith one Thursday afternoon, while fundraising on a busy street corner for a fairly well-known children's relief organization. He seemed like a genuinely cool person, a first impression which was probably influenced by the fact that he was performing as a juggler. We chatted on and off throughout the day, and I mentioned my boyfriend quite a few times. At the end of the day, we exchanged numbers, and I thought I had made an awesome new friend.

Fast-forward to that Saturday. My boyfriend had broken up with me the morning before, and I was looking for something entertaining to do. Keith called and asked me what I was doing that evening, and I told him what had happened. He was sympathetic, and offered to come meet me downtown to hang out and grab a beer.

After the bar, I told him it was getting late and I should probably head out, as I was staying with some friends and didn't want to keep them up too late. He offered to walk me to my car, and I told him I had to stop by my office to grab some things. I let us into the building, and showed him around, pointing out the political posters we have up, and entertaining him with work stories.

Well, hindsight is 20:20. Having had no intentions of dating any time soon, I had apparently missed all the signs that this guy was interested in more than a casual evening. All of a sudden, he pushed me up against the wall and tried to suck my face off. I went with it for a moment, but the second he tried to take my shirt off, I pushed him away.

“Can I take off your bra?” he asked.

I replied. “No. It's getting late, I should head home.”

As I ushered him out of the building, he kept trying to convince me that I could stay with him if I was worried about waking up my friends, that it would be fun to keep hanging out. Then he asked me what I was doing the next day. I told him that I would probably be busy.

When I arrived at my friends' house, I had a text message from him. “Good night sexxy bitch (affectionately)."  I don't think I'll be calling him again any time soon.


  1. Yea this sounds like a HORRIBLE date.

    I hope you're able to detect sarcasm better than identifying a bad date.

  2. "I mentioned my boyfriend quite a few times."

    GROSS. I hate talking to people like you.

  3. You agreed to go out with him after you had JUST told him that you had broken up, let him into a dark building with you, and had no idea what he was after?

  4. 9:59 - What's wrong with talking to people who mention that they have a significant other in casual conversation? Unless she was saying things like "I have a boyfriend" 500x or "My boyfriend does that better" or finds a way to work him into every aspect of the talk, talking about a person who is a huge part of your life (like a significant other) is normal.

    Now, she was INCREDIBLY naive the rest of the time. That's just...wow. Way not to be able to pick up on ANY social cues.

  5. Men have one thing on their minds, period. Women need to stop thinking otherwise. It's really very cut and dry. We women read too much into everything men say or do, when in reality, it's all about the sex.

  6. In addition to what Nikki said, sometimes I'll also drop "my fiancee" a few times in conversation if a guy is showing too much interest. It's a kinder way to say: "I'm already taken, so you can stop trying now."

  7. @12:12, women are no different. No, I take that back. Women are what men would be if we had an organ dedicated solely to sexual pleasure.

    And before you get offended, don't blame me because women have to live with this delusion that they aren't sexual creatures. We men folk don't make the rules in modern society.

  8. So I used to do some street performing for fun, mostly juggling. One Thursday afternoon, I met Jenna, a pretty but somewhat ditzy girl who was fundraising for a children's charity. She wouldn't shut up about her boyfriend (I got it the first time, you're not available), but after talking and a bit of flirting, we exchanged numbers. I figured that's the last I'll hear from her.

    Two days later, she calls me. She sounded like she'd been crying, and she told me her boyfriend (the one she wouldn't shut up about) had just dumped her. She asked if I wanted to take her out for a drink. She was pretty cool when we talked previously, and I felt bad for her, so I agreed. I figured she liked me, and now that she was single maybe we'd hit it off.

    We sat at the bar for a couple hours. She spent most of the time talking about her now ex-boyfriend and throwing down drinks. During the brief periods when I could change the subject, she still seemed cool, and she was very pretty, but it was getting ridiculous.

    She said she had to get going, that she was staying with some friends. I really didn't think she should be driving, but I didn't want to wrestle the keys from her. She mentioned she had to pick up some stuff from work, it was only 5 minutes away, and when she invited me to come with her, I figured I could at least make sure she was ok, and, well, you never know.

    When we got there (it was more like 20 minutes, and a trechorous 20 minutes at that), she eagerly invited me up to her office. She was now being very flirtatious, touching me, and starting to hold my hand in the elevator. She started giving me a "tour" of the office, which consisted mostly of pointing at cubes and saying who worked in them.

    After 15 minutes of this, she finally stopped, and we were standing there, talking. I leaned in to kiss her, and she reciprocated. After 5 minutes of making out, things were getting pretty passionate, and I started to .... move toward 2nd base. I certainly didn't want to have sex in her office or anything, but the office was completely empty, and I figured no harm in a little fun. Maybe not my best judgement, but whatever.

    She immediately shoved me away angrily and stormed off toward the elevator. I managed to get in with her before it closed, and she berated me on the ride down. I tried to apologize, but it was no use. When we got outside, she kept shouting at me as she walked toward her car.

    Based on her breath and her stumbling gait, she was most certainly not sober. I tried repeatedly to convince her not to drive, that I would drive her somewhere, her friend's house or whenever. I didn't want to spend any more time with her, but I also didn't want her to die on the road. She wouldn't have any of this, and threatened to call the cops (for what, I don't know). Finally, I gave up, and started walking away to my car, when she uttered the cherry on top of this craptastic night:

    I can do so much better than you, I am a SEXY BITCH!!

    Later on, I couldn't help but send her a text regarding her status as a Sexy Bitch. Shockingly, I got no response. Hopefully she made it to her friend's ok....

  9. god damn mike, you got some literary skills

  10. 2:22, please please please tell me that is the truth and that's what really happened. either way, 2:22, FTW!

  11. Annonymous 2:13pm: Why would I get offended? I made a statement and you pretty much agreed with it. It is what it is! My eyes are wide open.

  12. haha, Mike's story sounds a little closer to the truth... I love how he just randomly calls you the same day you and your boyfriend broke up...

  13. OP aka Betsy or Jenna & Mike H,

    How bout a little reality check here to cut through the double-speak.

    So Betsy subtly drops hints about her boyfriend but Mike asks for the number anyways because he doesn't understand Betsy's womanese meaning "I'm not interested." Betsy is incapable of uttering "No Thank You." Both said "exchanged numbers" so who really knows other than that both of them were foolish.

    Betsy wins awards for integrity, loyalty and honesty because we all know that a girl who loves her boyfriend has plenty of time on her hands outside of: her relationship, hanging with her girlfriends, and her personal affairs to exchange numbers with random guys off the street. She doesn't get jealous when her boyfriend flirts and exchanges numbers with strange girls either because she deems these actions as innocent and respectful practicing them herself.

    Plenty of heterosexual guys flirt with a girl and persist to ask for the phone number because they are only looking for friendship. No way guys try to be a friend and turn it into a relationship. There is no misinformation out there in regards to picking up women. Keep trying... She's playing hard to get... With time she'll fall in love with you... Sadly, some women go right along and milk the attention and monetary rewards from the poor sap.

    News Flash Mike, when a girl is interested in you she will make it easier by helping you out not fighting your advance by talking about a boyfriend. Instead you confused Jenna / Betsy with a girl who genuinely cared.

    Mike H, learn from your mistake. Next time ask if the girl if she has a twin sister who is single (humorous) or whether she has any single girlfriends to set you up with.

    Mike, get some self-respect. What were you going to do with this girl? Be her shrink for the night and listen to her problems? Desperation. Yeah, most people drop everything to hear out a complete stranger's problems because it's a great time with the crying and hearing about the ex. Let's be real, you being naive were going to wait out the storm. She needed some convalescence, some jacka** to stroke her ego. She didn't care about you, she wanted to use you to make herself feel better. Great way to start a relationship knowing as she handed her number out to you after telling you she had a boyfriend. No possibility of it happening to you in the future.

    Mike, she warmed you up real good by talking about her ex, crying, getting drunk and those twenty treacherous minutes so much you just had to go in for the kiss which led to making out. Yeah, moving towards second and having 3rd in a closer distance doesn't temp you anymore.

    Well, both these two are liars but all this wouldn't of happened if the OP never would have handed out her number.

    The OP was trying to dupe Mike as much as he was her. I'm calling you out OP. You aren't exactly the victim, but neither are you Mike.

    No feminazi's crying rape yet? There are as many bad men as women out there when it comes to dating, yet women are usually portrayed as the victims because men never come forward because of their ego or the shame etc. Glad to see, even if under the guise of anonymity, there is roughly equal stories from both genders posted to this site.

  14. It's pretty obvious Mike H. is just some douche who decided to make up some fictional reverse role POV story. It sounds to me like if someone fundraises on the street, like I did when I was young, you're a naturally friendly person and make friends with people you talk to at work all the time. I would sooner say she may have been blind to advances that might seem obvious to people who hadn't just been thrown into being a singleton, but whatever. He knew his intentions and was taking advantage of her. Mike H. should have better things to do with his time. It's kind of sad.

  15. It sucks that someone can't go have a drink with someone else when they're having a bad time without having to worry about being taking advantage of. BTW Mike H. you're a douche because that is clearly a satirical passage and not what actually happened.

  16. Mike H, the first 2 paragraphs of your story (yes that's right folks, I'm in the club for Mike H = awesome reverse POV fiction NOT miraculous coincidence) are exactly what I thought when I read this one, only you worded it better than I would have. I'm not usually one for ragging out the OP, but seriously - OP is a social retard.

  17. @7:12, you'd be offended because you vagina-folk are so emotionally unstable, and I'm not just saying that because I'm jealous or anything. God damn it, why can't I have a magic cum button?

  18. Anonymous 8:55am: You sure use a lot of emotionally descriptive words...are you sure you don't have a vagina "down there?"

  19. 11:26, chill the fuck out. Good God, it's obvious Mike H was doing a funny role-reversal, one which I found to be pretty amusing. Both people in the original story--the OP and the date--are social retards who were unable to pick up on one another's social clues. Writing such a long-winded (and boring, fyi) rant here just makes you seem sadder and pathetic than the rest of us. So...I guess thanks for the self-esteem boost!

  20. Mike H, will you juggle for me? Post your email and we can meet up. I don't even care if you're tiny and made of meat. Thanks!

  21. @Nikki - First off, why do you feel sad and pathetic for reading this blog? I don't. A nerve was obviously struck in you. Care to share?

    Probably should have skipped over that post up there if it looked too long winded. Why get upset over another expressing their point of view.

  22. Oh for the love of God, stop thinking you can psychoanalyse Nikki's post. The ONLY reason you are responding to it is because YOU are upset she called it for what it was. What you are doing 10:16, is called "projection"...look it up! Nikki, good post!

  23. Thanks, 11:21.

    For the record, I don't feel sad or pathetic reading this blog. It's a highly entertaining way to kill time at work. I even enjoy (more often than not) reading the comments of all the little anonymous trolls, with their homophobia, obsession with dicks and raping women, obvious lack of social skills, and their ability to get irritated easily any time someone tries to make an intelligent (or not-so-intelligent) point. I just don't think it's necessary for someone to write a comment as long-winded and whiny as the one 11:26 wrote. If that makes me some sort of basketcase, so be it.

  24. Nikki I love you! <3 Don't ever change.

    Aside from 11:26 who obviously has no life other than getting seriously frustrated and ranting over internet blog comments which will have no effect on anyone anyway....
    I have had conversations with girls who don't excessively mention their boyfriends but when they bring them up in conversation, they do so in such a manner that it's like they're only mentioning their significant other to try and really make you very aware that they have a boyfriend. Like they need you to confirm that you're aware they are wanted by someone. It's like they need you to know that they're in demand or something or just looking for a reaction of jealousy. Some girls just love stirring up drama.

  25. @11:21

    How clever are you to accuse me of psychoanalysis when you are guilty of that very thing in your post. EMOTION clouds your judgment but it is quite possible you lack the very intelligence you feebly attempt to exude.


    Sorry to inconvenience you and your lack of self-control. Never did I claim to to possess literary prowess nor do I believe people posting comments need to do so in order entertain the likes of you.

    "It's a highly entertaining way to kill time at work." I would hope for the sake of what appears to be your child in that picture that you don't jeopardize the job you have when so many are going to great lengths to procure work.

    I'm still wondering why you are under the delusion of being an authority regarding the precept for comment posting.

    @Nikki & 3:19

    If you wanted to take issue with my comment, how about doing so intelligently rather then subscribing to Ad Hominem (validity of a premise to an irrelevant characteristic or belief of the person advocating the premise). Portrayal of feeble-mindedness.

    I'm very much reminded of the people from the "Allegory of the Cave", limbs bound together and blinders affixed in regards to both of your ignorance.

    Post a comment with substance rather than unsubstantiated slander.

    echo "your comments" > /dev/null

  26. millions of writers out of work, and we have to read this crap.

  27. 11:26 and 6:08 (I assume you're the same person)

    The fact that you weren't able to recognize Mike H was writing that as a joke shows how ignorant you are. No matter how many big words you use to try to make yourself look better, it doesn't work.


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