From the "Prepare for a Lifetime of Disappointment" Department:

Submitted by Richard:

Moira and I met on the Internet, and after we spoke for a little while, she hinted that she knew a great place for a first date.  I asked her where, and she told me that I'd have to ask her out on a date to find out.  She was really bright and seemed like a hell of a lot of fun, so I went for it.

Her "awesome place"?  Ruby Tuesday's!

It was a little weird after all the build-up, but I went for it.

She told me that she always got the same thing when she went there, ever since her first boyfriend asked her out there seven years earlier... the same first boyfriend who she hasn't spoken to since their breakup, but who she knows is now a dentist, is engaged, moved to Iowa and then came back to the area, owns a cat named Oswald, lives in a nice part of town... wow.  You sure do know a lot about your ex-boyfriend's whereabouts and doings, Moira.

She told me that she just had to figure out how to correct things, that was, make it so that he would be back in love with her.  No one she had met since him, apparently, had measured up.  Oh boy.

"How will you go about 'correcting' him?" I asked.

She said, "He'll correct himself.  Eventually.  He'll realize that he never had it better.  I've waited this long.  I can wait longer."

I asked her why she bothered going on dates if she was still really into this guy.  She just said that she was lonely and wanted to meet new people in the meantime.  Wow.

I had a pleasant enough time, aside from the fact that when the date was over, I knew more about her first boyfriend than I did about her.  She didn't ask me a single question about myself, and I had to wonder how many other guys she had taken to Ruby Tuesday's.


  1. Bet she made you pay. There are a ton of girls that do this. They want free psychotherapy and free food, on call 24/7. They don't want a date/boyfriend. Of course they offer nothing in return as being in their presence alone is considered *priceless* to them.

    Yeah I'm bitter.

  2. Let's see: she wants him back, he's moved back to the area and she insisted you go to the very restaurant he'd taken her to (and therefore might happen to be in on a Friday night). Coincidence? I think not. You, poor man, were nothing but a pawn.

  3. Sad. She needs therapy.

  4. Yeah, I'd pay for my half the food...

  5. Next time, ask how big the ex's dick is. If she tells you, say "Mine happens to be exactly the same size. Care for some nostalgia??"

  6. Wow, I wanna buy Anon 5:17 a beer ;) ...and then make fun of people who name their cat Oswald.

  7. Damn Richard, grow a pair. How desperate do you have to be to stay on that date with her and listen to that crap about her ex if she clearly tells you she's just using you. I can only hope you didn't pay the whole bill.

  8. Richard, listen to Anon 9:23. That's some good, classic advice there. But you have to make sure you whip it out in the restaurant so she believes you.


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