The Sweet Smell of Love

Submitted by Alexandra:

Jeremy showed up to our date stinking like a pile of dog shit.  He was dressed up and his hair was combed, and if I didn't have a sense of smell, then there wouldn't be a problem.  However, my olfactory sense was working just fine, and this guy smelled like three-week-old garbage.

You know that sort of thing you do when someone nearby smells?  You start breathing through your mouth?  But then your mouth becomes moist with the humidity of their stink?  That's what happened, here.

He talked about how he was a civil servant, how he wanted to be married in two years, have kids in three, own a house in four, etc.  It was so hard to concentrate, and all I wanted to do was to step back ten paces and breathe some fresh, clean air.

When the date was over, he embraced me goodbye, and I held my breath, and everything was fine.

He wrote me an e-mail to tell me how awesome he thought the date went and how good he thought our chemistry was.  I wrote him back to tell him, as politely as possible, that I wasn't interested.  Then he wrote back the the dreaded, "Why?" e-mails.  I told him that I didn't think that we had much in common and that I wasn't really attracted to him.

"Why not?" came the desperate reply.  I told him that I wasn't physically attracted to him.  He asked me, "What is it about me you don't like?" and I couldn't bring myself to tell him, so I ignored his e-mail.  And the next one.  And the one after that.  And the one after that.


  1. yeah, how do you tell someone you've only just met that they smell so bad they hum?

  2. Well, you certainly could have pointed out the stench to help a brother out - what did it matter to you what he did with that? However, his desparate emails show very clearly that his smell wasn't the only reason he was someone to ditch. And anyone with that strict a schedule for major life events either doesn't have much dating experience or is a seriously controlling person. He better hop in the shower - looks like he needs to meet his life partner in the next three months or it all unravels!

    Hi Nick!

  3. You should have told him about his odor problem. sometime bad odor can be a medical problem and the "odee" might not know it

  4. Yeah, just tell the dude. I mean, I barely gets less personal than e-mail and his dating life will probably get better as a result. Poor weird stinker.

  5. oops... "it barely gets" sorry guys

  6. Did you ever think he cannot smell and didn't know he stepped in it? I worked for years with someone with no sense of smell and when we became friends and I found out I would politely tell him when he need to change his shoe pads. Your story, unfortunately, tells me you are a shallow person who can't think beyond your own situation.

  7. Smelly and desperate? Surely a big turn-off, right, ladies? Just kidding. But seriously, what's the point of asking someone who rejected you over and over again why they did it? If they don't tell you the first time, what is it that you think you'll hear the third or fourth time? What is all that pleading gonna do, convince her that she was wrong and you're terrific? I don't get why people refuse to accept the truth. It's so much easier, more conducive to happiness and peace of mind.

  8. My guess is he was asking repeatedly because it's happened to him before and nobody will tell the poor bastard WHY. Try to break it to him gently so he has a chance with the next one, it won't hurt you and it might help him.

  9. You have to tell people if they smell. You're dooming the next date to break the news.

  10. Wooooow. Looks like 4:05 used to be the "smelly kid" back in the day...

  11. what's wrong with "hey sorry to have to tell you this but on our date you just smelled bad. maybe you didn't think i would notice or something but i did."


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