Naked, Wet, and Way, Way Hairy

Submitted by Grant:

Rose was a greeter at Walmart.  No, I'm not from hicksville, you wise asses.  I'm from Ohio.  Well, so maybe I am from hicksville, but in any event, Rose was a greeter at a Walmart.  No, she wasn't elderly, either.  She was 22.

She had a great smile and was really hot, so I asked her where the cereals were and then I asked her out.

I wanted to take her out to a nice dinner and we made plans to meet, but she called me a couple of hours before the date to ask me if I'd meet her in a nearby park instead.  Oookay.

I parked and walked to a small lake, where she wanted me to meet her.  She showed up, stripped off her clothes, and jumped naked into the water.  "Come on in!" she shouted.

Naked, wet girl?  I'm in.

I took my clothes off and she said, "Holy fuck, Sasquatch.  Have you ever shaved your body?"

Regrettably, I hadn't.  I might have more hair than most guys, but I don't think that I'm too far above average.  Regardless of what I thought, she thought that it was way above average.

She splashed around me for a bit and said, "Will you let me shave you?"

I replied, "Maybe sometime."

She replied, "Today?"

Thinking that this might either be a disaster or potentially really hot, I agreed.  Nothing happened in the water, and we left and went back to her place.

She stretched me out on her floor on a bunch of towels and had me strip completely.  She took out her razor and began.

Jesus Christ, she was like fucking Freddy Krueger with the blade and I pulled away.

"What the fuck is wrong?" she asked, coming closer.

I said, "Go easier, would ya?"

She tried again and soon after it felt like she sliced off a chunk of skin the size of my fist.  I rolled over and up.

She asked, "What?  It's just a little cut."

I put my hand on my back where she had diced me, and it came back with way more than a "little cut's" worth of blood.

I threw my clothes on and was out of there faster than my sex drive at an all-male bible study.


  1. *speechless*

    What a weird date.

  2. That date was legendary :)

  3. I want to give you a buzzcut.

  4. I can't believe you trusted a stranger with a blade on your skin! Definitely thinkin not w/ your head....

  5. Best post ever.

  6. Desperate for some action

  7. If this happened to a girl and the guy jumped in the water completely naked she would have been completely turned off. It's a shame that men and women are so different in those areas.
    That being said you are kinda silly for letting anyone shave you like that.

  8. All-male bible study? Gay man's heaven... At least, 'this' gay man's heaven...

  9. You should just thank your lucky stars she didn't pour gasoline all over you, light a match, attach you to the trailer hitch (with the dangling metal 'truck' balls) of her truck and go for a drive in a field doing donuts.

    ...that's hair removal in hicksville, yeah?

  10. This never happened.

  11. Just as a general rule for all those reading this, you should never, ever allow someone to shave you on a first date. I mean, I can see sharing needles or having unprotected anal sex on a first date, but shaving??? It's so intimate and you really want to know and trust the person first.

  12. serves you right for trying to date a girl that young.

  13. Nice try, monkey man...did you NOT know that personal grooming is important in the dating world? Be prepared next time, stoop!

  14. A little blood and you're out of there? I guess she wasn't all that hot after all, huh?

  15. Ahhhh, a cutter. She was wetting her panties at first sight of the hair. That's why she lured you to the only place she knew to get you naked. I bet she had scars. After you left, she lubes her dildoes with your blood and sprayed woman love all over her walls. Dummy, you missed a great lay.

  16. Masodark, you're confusing me :(

  17. can anyone help poeslaw to the art of sarcasm? i cant seem to help him/her at the moment. or maybe i can.

    poeslaw, you are so adept at picking up the nuances of a story.

  18. pics or it didn't happen

  19. ~~"Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!... Oh! Oh! Dr. Zaius! Dr. Zaius!....Oh! Oh! Don't Shave us! Don't Shave us!...Oh oh Dr. Zaius!"~~


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