You're My Problem

Submitted by Lawrence:

Kelly said that she'd meet me at the movie theater.  She showed up 40 minutes late for the film, after not having picked up when I called her to see if everything was all right.

She came up to me and said, "I was waiting at the mini-golf place down the road when I remembered that we were going to a movie!"

I said, "Well, we're late to this one, so we can catch another one or do dinner first and then come back for a later showing."

She said, "Well, I'm going into this movie, since that was our plan, and I don't break my plans."

I could have pointed out that agreeing to meet at a particular time and place and then not doing that could have qualified as plan-breaking, but whatever.  She was there, and that was fine.

Going into a theater almost an hour late for the movie didn't make much sense to me, and I again suggested another film or a later one.  She said, "What wasn't clear?  I agreed to see this movie, and we're going to see it.  I'll even see it without you, because I agreed to see it.  What's the problem?  What's the problem?  I mean, are you really having that much trouble understanding me?"

I turned back towards the parking lot and said, "Let's grab dinner, first.  We were going to do a movie and dinner anyway."

She grabbed me from behind. "What the hell are you doing?  You don't leave me at the movie theater!  No one leaves me behind!  I don't have any money for the movie!  What's the big idea?  We had a date!"

I took a deep breath.  "You're flying off the handle at me for no reason."

"Because you're making a big deal out of this whole thing!  What's the problem?  What's the problem?  What's the problem?"

I turned again to leave.  She grabbed me again, but I ripped her arm away and yelled, "Stay the fuck away from me!  You're my problem!"

Everyone in the lobby turned their heads, and I left her standing there.


  1. Speaking as a woman.....you were totally justified.

  2. Ehh, this may not be a popular opinion, but I think you went a bit too far with your last line there. Sure, you were totally justified. But I think you could have taken the high road without the need to get snippy, and that would have worked a lot better.

    Just an opinion.

  3. I like it. Right on.

  4. That right there is a complete and total nutjob. Best you found out quickly.

    Will they even sell you a ticket to a movie that's an hour through?

  5. Agreed. This website can be really addictive.

  6. Alas, you were able to stand up for yourself, unlike some pathetic guys here lately. Kudos.

  7. she doesn't know karate...but she does know ka-razy

  8. I wouldn't have waited on a date for 40 minutes. I would have left after 30 minutes, tops.

  9. Girls that you're not close with usually show up late for dates. It's the number one dominance tool girls have since they can't use sex denial when sex isn't expected. It's also part of the alpha strategy of always appearing busy even when you're not. Two courtesy calls, the second being a date-dismissal voicemail, and 15 minutes is all I give if someone is late and refuses to answer the phone.

  10. I agree--way to stand up for yourself. 40 minutes is waaaay longer than I would have waited for a date, especially one that has time constraints, like a movie, but sometimes you just have to give people the benefit of the doubt...until they go all nut-job on you.

  11. She's odd, but you are kind of a spaz. "You're my problem"? You sound like two siblings on a car trip.

    Oh, and to Anon 4 above this comment: The Big Payback is the best song James Brown ever made. Well played.

  12. Sounds like she had another date lined up after you that she didn't want to be late for. She wanted movie and dinner with you, then sex with a hot hunk of man meat. She's probably got the aids.

  13. yeah.. she totally sounds like a nut job, but i dont agree with the fact that you left her there. You could have been civil, not argued with her, and just drove her home.


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