Food for the Forest Demon

Submitted by Dale:

Alex picked me up at my house and handed me a blindfold. He said that he was taking me somewhere that was a surprise.

I don't care what you say, but asking anyone to wear a blindfold on a first date is pretty forward—I don't even know you, yet! I asked him if it would be all right if I didn't wear the blindfold, or if whatever the surprise was could wait until a future date, when I would be a bit more comfortable with him.

He replied by saying, "What's the problem? It's perfectly safe," tying the blindfold over his eyes, and stumbling around my front yard.

"Let's just go to dinner," I suggested.

He took me to a Dairy Queen. "Ice cream on a first date!" he announced when we were inside, "The royal treatment for you."

After ice cream, I suggested a walk, but Alex had other plans. He took me to a local park where he claimed sat a ridge from which you could see the entire town.

The "ridge" ended up being a grove of trees, one of which had graffiti on it so that it resembled a grotesque, demonesque face with big, big eyes.

"It's Lakolathu!" he said, "The god of the ridge!"

I asked him why he had brought me to a place that was clearly not a ridge. He only pointed again at the tree and said, "See? Lakolathu! Raar!"

"Do you think you could take me home?" was my next question. He did, but begrudgingly.

I checked and double-checked each of my locks before going to bed that night.


  1. Just someone trying to have fun, definitely not a match , you need to find yourself a self-absorbed prick that you can feel kinship with.

  2. I don't see anything wrong with what he did. Maybe not your cup of tea, but you don't have to be a bitch about it.

  3. You dating Lakolathu, now?

  4. Ehh... so asking him to take her home is a sign that she's being a bitch about it? Wow... some people...

  5. Never heard of someone being so critical of the definition of a ridge before.

    Don't diss on her highness, Dairy Queen. She's cradled me gently in her Blizzardy arms many a late night drinking binges.

  6. I don't think I would have gone anywhere with him afer he tried to blind fold me. A lot of scary movies start that way.

    Dairy Queen on a first day is nice and very casual. Maybe he was nervous in a formal setting.

  7. Anon 3:15, no being critical of every little thing he did was being a bitch. Does it really matter that he called the place a ridge. Jesus Christ, I've never known anyone who was so concerned with the definition of a ridge. And acting like you are too good for DQ is bitch as well.

  8. The guy was cheap, period. Anybody trying to defend him is cheap as well.

  9. I'll wear my cheap badge proudly, Anon 6:37 PM. I foresee you being the subject of one of these letters soon, if not already.

    Since when are dates entirely about how much money you spend? I'd be happy with corndogs and beer.

  10. 7:34, you got dumped by a girl for taking her to Dairy Queen on first dates before, didn't you?

  11. I find it funny that she double-checked her locks. The guy seemed annoying, but not creepy.

    Some girls seriously think they're the center of the universe. Sheesh.

  12. Wow. I read the comments and think, judgmental much? You people need to lay off on her. Blind fold is something that requires trust, which you don't have on a first date. A ridge overlooking the city = romantic. A cluster of trees next to a demon picture that has been named and is referred to by name by your date = creepy. This just wasn't an appropriate first date. The guy needs to learn you have to give it a bit before you turn on the crazy/weird/unique. DQ is awesome btw.

  13. Umm, could we stop the verbal gang rape here, guys?

    As the father of two grown daughters, I can tell you that I would never want either of them to consent to a behavior with another person that would put them in their power. That's simply unacceptable.

    What amazes me here is the inability of the writers of some of these comments to see that what a woman needs most of all on the first date is a sense of trust from their partner. Asking to blindfold someone you barely know is an enormous presumption of their trust. The guy was an idiot.

  14. the guy seems like he wanted to show his artwork or something cool he found

  15. The blindfold thing sounds like he was just trying to be fun, but came off as creepy. I get that. The rest of it doesn't seem that bad. I don't understand why some women think that a first date has to be this big deal. For a first date, I prefer something simple like coffee and dessert, drinks, or ice cream rather than a guy pulling out all stops. Why commit to a lengthy date of dinner and a movie if we don't hit it off? That's a waste of my time and his. I assume the guy works hard for his money. Why should he have to spend tons of money on what may be just one date? Hardly fair if you ask me.


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