Open Water, Open Mouths

Submitted by Laurie:

Phil and I rented a paddle boat at an amusement park and took it out on a lake.  We had been having a nice time together up until then.

While we were out on the water, we were both quiet for a while.  Then, he turned to me and leaned in for a kiss.  This was my first time meeting him, and I wasn't completely comfortable with him just yet, so I turned my head.

He tried again, and again, I turned my head.  He groaned and asked, "Is there a problem?"

I told him not to take it personally.  I was flattered that he was attracted to me, but I wanted to take things a bit slower and learn more about him.

He said, "We've been learning more about each other this whole time.  What's wrong with a kiss?  Just one.  Come on."

He leaned in again, and this time I pushed him away gently.  He banged his fist on the side of the boat, and I nearly jumped out of it.  "Fine!" he shouted, and didn't talk to me for the rest of our time out on the water.

It's the most awkward thing in the world to be out in the middle of the water with a guy like this, and I couldn't wait to end the date and go home.


  1. uh yeah. Yikes.

    Run fast from this one. Holy anger management issues batman!

  2. Well you could have kissed him on the cheek or told him it was too early but you did still like him... but his reaction? Be thanking your lucky stars you found this out on the first date. That would have been uncomfortable as hell sitting in the boat with him. I would have been tempted to jump in the water and swim back lol.

  3. What's the proper time frame (from a women's perspective) on having the first kiss? 2nd date? 3rd date? 10th date? Obviously the guy felt he was comfortable enough on the 1st date to kiss. For the women out there, after how many dates on average is it appropriate for a kiss?

  4. This is the truth, and it sucks, but the timing for first kisses (from a woman's perspective) depends on two things:

    1. The date--how it's going, how much chemistry there is.

    2. The woman--her personal set of morals and sexual inclinations.

    I'm in the "kiss on the cheek on the first date, unless it's going *really* well" troop...which, of course, means that I'll either be called a prude or (ironically) a whore in this forum. ;P

  5. @Nikki - you are neither. :) Just that most men get these signals (or so we think!) that its ok for a kiss and then the woman backs out in a hurry. If we don't kiss, there are allegations that we are partly gay etc and if we do, we are pushing ourselves on the woman. So, its kinda even for both sexes really.

    In the case mentioned, she said the date was going well. What would've been wrong with one kiss? Not sure. But Mr.BangaFist needs to get dumped in the water for scaring the girl.

  6. Ahahaha! Thanks, @7:17. :) Glad to know where I stand.

    And I have to admit, 10:59, that when my current boyfriend only politely kissed me at the end of our first date, I was convinced that he didn't really like me. ;) So agreed: when-to-kiss is awkward for both sexes.

  7. Kissing is only okay after marriage, and sex is only okay in the afterlife. Anything more is only okay after the universe collapses and re-expands.


  8. The problem is that most men only take into account their own feelings towards a women and can be disillusioned as to the true feelings of the women because either they are unaware of what to look for or just don't pay attention.

    I don't think this guy was really a creep but just inexperienced and felt slighted by her rejection and thus lost self-control with adverse reaction. If he knew better this would not have happened.

    @Nikki When to kiss should not be awkward and doesn't have to be but eventually it has to happen before the 4th date with reciprocation. No kiss on the cheek.

    Typically the guy should go for the kiss at the end of the second date. Although, if the girl seemed overly interested in him during the 2nd date then he might want to wait till at the end of the third date (you know the girl is into you so you can get away with being a bit more of a challenge). If you are unsure of the girl's feelings toward you at the end of the second date then definately go in for the kiss. That way, if she turns her head or backs away then you know to erase her number. Looking for a women beyond a platonic level and not to feed and entertain a professional dater (women who has no desire in the guy but will except the date and keep it if she does not end up with better plans for that particular evening).

  9. 7:17 again, glad yo can take a joke Nikki. and anon 10:59 is teh gay.

  10. @12:41

    Okay, so all I got out of that was that the dude should wait til the second date to go for a kiss, unless the girl seems to really like him, in which case, screw that--make her wait til the third date because...you want to play hard to get? I bet if a girl pulled that, you'd be all pissed and say she was playing "mind games."

    People, this shouldn't have to be so complicated. (I agree with you there, 12:41.) If you pick up on the common social signals that the person is into you--they go out of their way to touch your arm or something; they position their body towards you and don't cross their arms or block themselves off in another way; they make eye contact (but don't stare, because then you'll get yelled at, apparently), etc.--then go for the kiss. Worst case, she'll say that you're going too fast. If that happens, don't flip your shit, just back off a little. If it's the fourth date or something, then maybe don't call her again, but if it's the first date, don't write her off as a frigid bitch who's only in it for a free dinner and movie ticket. She might just be the kind of girl who's decided she doesn't want to kiss on the first date.

  11. Nikki, so true. Sometimes the girl will say no, just back off, now that she knows you want it, she may just let you have it.

  12. Next he'd want to put in "just the tip", then BAM, pregnant!


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