How Is a Bad Date Like a Writing Desk?

Submitted by Vanessa:

Zachary picked me up and asked me what I wanted to do.  I suggested an early dinner.  He took me to an Ikea.  He explained that he wouldn't be longer than a few minutes.  He wanted to pick out a new desk for his home office.

Forty minutes later, he hadn't decided between these two models that seemed, function-wise, exactly the same.  He sat behind one.  Then the other.  Then the first one again.  Then the other.  I asked him if he would be ready to grab dinner soon, and he told me to be patient.

After we had spent about an hour there, he decided on neither.  He said that he could probably find a cheaper one somewhere else.  I then asked him again if he was ready for dinner, and he said that he wasn't that hungry.  I suggested a cafe, but he again said that he wasn't hungry.

He then suggested parking somewhere and making out.  I asked him to take me home.  He told me that that was a stupid idea, but honestly, I think it was the best one that either of us floated all night.


  1. Maybe Vanessa looked like she knew her way around a desk and Zachary was hoping to get some valuable input. Maybe not. I'm looking forward to some good Ikea jokes from this story.

  2. Ewwww what a bad date and beyond that, Ikea is over.

  3. I don't get it. Why didn't you guys just eat at Ikea? They serve food, you know.

  4. They didn't eat at Ikea because he wasn't hungry for food, just sweet, sweet lovin'.

    Dates at Ikea can be fun, but not if the guy is an indecisive putz. :P

  5. Hey I take offense to that, Nikki! I'm indecisive...I think?

    Either way, he probably realized he had forgotten his wallet and wanted to get one of the desks and dinner, but he didn't want to come off as a mooch on the first date by asking you to pay so he played it off like he wasn't interested in the desks and that he wasn't hungry.

  6. Will, if that was the case, then honesty and a little self-deprecating humor would have made things less awkward. And he still could have gone to the Ikea cafe with her and chatted while she had a delicious cinnamon bun or something. I think this was just a case of someone not being interested in their date, and instead of being honest and not wasting each other's time, he kept the date going and made everything worse than it needed to be.

  7. What's wrong with Ikea...I was actually at the one in Charlotte yesterday; bought a bookshelf. They could have bonded over a plate of Swedish meatballs and lingonberry jam.


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