By "Good Date" I Mean "Bad Date"

Submitted by Angela:

Fred told me that he had a house that overlooked the ocean, complete with a back deck.  He invited me over to his place for a home-cooked dinner.

I arrived to discover that by "overlooked" he meant "ten blocks away from" and by "ocean" he meant, "reservoir."  His back deck had a pile of junk stacked in a corner as if he had taken five minutes before I had arrived to shove all of his stuff there.

I sat down to find that by "home-cooked," Fred meant, "lukewarm Ramen noodles and reheated Chinese food."

After we finished dinner, he asked me if I wanted to look at photos of his kids.  That's funny, Fred.  You never before mentioned that you had children.  We've been speaking for a month.  Or did you forget that you had them?  Are they also shoved amidst that forgotten pile of old paint cans, tarps, and power tools next to me on your deck?

He had shown me several pictures when I decided that I had enough.  I told him that I was ready to go, as I had to be up early the next day.

Fred seemed disappointed and said, "We didn't even get to hula."

I was about to ask him what he meant, when I decided that I'd be better off not.


  1. By "hula" he probably meant, "eat raw bacon with elderly pigeons."

  2. By Hula, he meant he wanted to see your HOOP

  3. THAT is a really gross date. Bravo.

  4. By "hula" he probably meant "have unagreed upon sex."

  5. Sounds like this girl just enjoys complaining. She's probably a liar as well or at least pretentious.

  6. Ramen noodles and Hula dancing. Sounds like a blast to me.

  7. you should have brought some jerky.

  8. OP needs a roundhouse kick to the face.


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