Beware the Suspicious

Submitted by Tim:

My date with Ellen was going fine until I mentioned something about my friend, Sarah.  Ellen then started asking me questions about Sarah.  What did she do?  How long had we known each other?  Did we ever date?

The line of questions made me more and more uncomfortable, so I asked Ellen why she was so curious.  She said that she had an ex who cheated on her all of the time, so now she was naturally suspicious of every guy.

She began asking me about my other female friends and I told her that I really didn't want to be under suspicion for doing something that I hadn't even done.

After dinner, I felt her hand on my waist.  I thought that she was looking for my hand, but she actually reached into my pocket and grabbed my wallet!

I asked her what she was doing as I tried to grab it back.  She said that she just wanted to see if I had any contact information for other women in it.  I was able to take it back quickly, stuff it back into my pocket, and say a hasty goodnight.  God help the man she ends up with.


  1. She was obviously checking to see if you had the prerequisite condoms in your wallet. She wanted to ride the Timotron!

  2. Wow. I mean getting cheated on sucks and I can understand trust issues but that was extreme! You seem to have handled it well enough though.

  3. Who carries contact info in a wallet? Was she cheated on in 1987?

  4. I've carried small bits of contact info in my wallet before: written on a post-it note, stuck to the inside of my wallet. Reminds me to call so-and-so when I open it up.


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