Not Gonna Be Startin' Something

Submitted by Stephanie:

Bob offered to take me out to dinner and a nice walk.  I took him up on it and asked me to meet him at his place.

When I arrived, he brought me inside and asked if I wanted to see his animation work.  He showed me a tape of... well... nothing.  It was colors and shapes set to music, but nothing narrative: no plot, no characters; mostly experimentalist work.

After a good twenty minutes, I turned to him and told him that it was good, and that I was ready to go for dinner.

He pointed to the screen and said, "This is the best part!" and I watched as... nothing happened.  More shapes appeared and floated lazily into the other ones.  It was like a lava lamp, but without any of the excitement.  I was being polite and indulgent, but this was becoming silly.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I'd love to watch more, but I'm a little hungry."  He turned it off and we went to dinner.

During dinner, he continuously hinted that he wanted to go back to his place afterward to finish watching his animations.  "There's just twenty minutes more," he pleaded, "The ending is so worth it."

"Does a trapezoid come into it?" I joked.  He didn't get it.

We ended up back at his place.  He sat almost as far away from me as he could on his couch and we watched the final twenty minutes of the film.

"Here it comes," he braced me after two triangles flew offscreen.  Then, the screen went black and Michael Jackson's Thriller came on and the words, "MJ FOREVER!" flashed over and over.

Bob turned to me with a big smile.

"That was it?" I asked.

He nodded as if I was crazy for not thinking that it was the greatest masterpiece that I had ever seen.  I said, "It's late, so I think that I'm going to head home.  Thanks for dinner and your... animation."


  1. Sounds BAD. A real THRILLER of a date. If he pulled down his BILLY JEANS , would you BEAT IT? Would it matter if it was BLACK OR WHITE?

  2. Oh, cool. A guy gets excited about showing you something, and you, instead, just walk away because you didn't understand it? Well done, you sure are an expert on love.

  3. Agreed. He is a loser. He needs to get a real job and stop acting like he is some kind of creative genius. Not everyone is born with talent, that's just how life is.

  4. He was creative, that's good. Just a little slow on the pick up... too slow for Stephanie anyway. It's not like she didn't give him a chance- she gave him over 20 minutes. Her words were polite. He should have tapped into her interests a little bit if he wanted to get anywhere with her. No need to insult, 5:05.

  5. No, 5:05 needs the insult. "Creative" people are lame.

  6. hahahaha! comment #1! nice.

  7. 7:45 and 10:18 are just bitter because they don't have a creative bone in their body. For that matter, so is Stephanie.

  8. "Some guy" needs to get a job and move out of his mommy's basement.

  9. The MJ at the end means he was only into two things.

    2.)Little boys

    Definitely not women.

  10. Whoa, 12:54. Good reading comprehension. If you'll notice, I said "bone", not "boner". But I guess when you think about boners as much as you do, you'll see them everywhere, huh?

  11. TRIPPIN'!!!!!!!

    This guy has probably done like ninety-thousand hits of acid in his life. After that much acid, a pock-marked windowsill becomes a Botticelli...


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