11/15/2009

I Created a Wrestler

Submitted by Nikki:

Daniel was a nice, straight-edge guy I had met through mutual friends the summer I was 19. We had been dating for about a month when he told me that he had a “surprise-filled date” for me.

He picked me up and asked if it was okay to blindfold me, as he didn’t want me to guess the location of the date. I knew him well enough to trust him, so I said sure.

We ended up at his place, where he had set up a picnic table in the backyard, complete with my favorite flowers, my favorite dinner, and a 96-count box of Crayola crayons, which had been my favorite toy as a kid.  He said that he had read my LiveJournal in its entirety so that he could learn more about me. I was a little creeped out by that, as I had been keeping that journal for over two years and there were close to 1000 entries in it, but I shrugged it off as him being over-eager.

He brought me inside and led me to his room.  From floor to ceiling, on three walls, he had plastered computer print-outs of anime girls in suggestive positions. I’m all for letting people express their kinks, but I found it incredibly disturbing to see Missy from Pokemon and Sailor Moon in ways I had never imagined (or wanted to imagine) them. I quickly suggested we go downstairs to the living room and watch a movie or something.

We started fooling around when he pulled out a pair of soft kitty ears, like you would wear for a Halloween costume. “Would you wear these?” he asked. Okay, weird, but hey, catgirls were all the rage at Hot Topic, so maybe this was just some harmless thing, right? Then he asked me to purr. Then he told me he was falling in love with me. I told him that the purring was a little too much for me.

The whole way home, he talked about the “storylines” he created for his backyard wrestling league. I found it all to be a bit dorkier than I could stand, so I broke up with him a few days later, saying that he was really sweet, but that I just didn’t see the relationship going anywhere.

He told our mutual friends that I was a “dirty hussy” who “ruined [his] ideals of romantic love, so what was the point of being straight-edge anymore?” He then started drinking heavily and smoking weed. I hear he’s now an amateur wrestler in a WWE-style league whose signature move is to hit people with a “Slippery When Wet” sign when they’re not looking. My taste in men has, thankfully, significantly improved since then.

13 comments:

  1. Why do guys like putting posters of weird stuff on their walls?

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  2. *stealthily removes video game posters from walls*

    The type of guy in the OP is actually part of a significant subculture in America. People get burned by the world early and retreat to the comforts of childhood and idolize faraway cultures that can't hurt them (cartoons, video games, anime, WWE, Japanese stuff in general.) Usually these people are severely socially underdeveloped so they don't know how to behave properly in social situations.

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  3. Dude should just buy a cat, then mix together some peanut butter and catnip, and put it on his balls.

    Voila!

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  4. now you know why some people are always available for a date.

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  5. she makes it clear that they were going out for a month at the time...ie NOT a first date and clearly not a whore.

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  6. I do believe her name is Misty, not Missy. Just saying..

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  7. @11:13: Sweetie, read the first paragraph. It wasn't a first date. We had been going out for a month and a half at this point, so there had been several bjs already. And for that month and a half, he had seemed nerdy but in a non-creepy way.

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  8. Anonymous said...
    Dude should just buy a cat, then mix together some peanut butter and catnip, and put it on his balls.

    Voila!
    ------------------
    That's utterly revolting!

    *makes note for future*

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  9. "Ajajaja"? Is this some new Internet Troll Slang that I'm not aware of? It's called the "h" key. Give it a try.

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  10. I'm not syaing the guy wasn't a creep, or that he didn't move too fast, or whatever, but there are a few things here that make me pity him:

    1) He went through the effort to make a nice date for you. You had a thousand LiveJournal entries and he read them. Not exactly stalking, since they're up on the internet and all. But it did sound like work - effort he put in so he could make a nice date for you*.

    2) His kinks... Yes, they were wierd, and yeah, I was a little creeped out by all that stuff just reading it. But I wonder if he didn't realize that they were a little wierd, and maybe he felt like he was revealing a vulnerable part of his life to you.

    Oh, and in general, most sXe kids I know don't go in for casual BJs, either...


    *And it wasn't about the BJ, either, I don't think, since Misty has already admitted there were plenty of BJs.

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  11. *shrug* I don't know a lot of sXe kids, so I can't comment on whether or not his desire for BJs was "common" or not. I do appreciate that he tried to give me the perfect date, but at 19, it seemed creepy. At 26 (my age now), it seems...well, not admirable, but not as creepy. I just really believe that if you want to get to know a person, you should talk to them.

    As for his kinks, I'm all for people being kinky and putting themselves out there to their partners, but that many kinks PLUS an L-bomb all at once was overwhelming.

    He was a nice kid, but just a little too much for me.

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  12. As a kinda-sorta straight edge (i.e. I don't drink/smoke, but I don't feel the need to be a "part of a movement" or whatever) fella who also used to be a wrestler, this guy doesn't represent me or those of my ilk (maybe it's the lack of anime in my diet?).

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  13. This guy sounds almost exactly the same as a Daniel I dated during highschool (I guess I was 15 or 16 at the time), except the wrestling thing. Right down to finding my livejournal and reading the whole thing. Creepy.

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