The Dark Side of the Moon

Submitted by Niki:

John sat down at dinner and told me how nice I looked, then said in the same sentence he wondered how many dates I had been on that week.

I should've taken that as the first warning bell, but I just chalked it up to eccentricity.

Dinner came and we talked about what the two of us could cook.  It was fun until he said that he hoped that I didn't cook too many fatty things because I was already big enough.

I was ready to up and leave, but then he said a curious thing.

"I want to be an astronaut.  That's okay, right?"

Automatically, I said, "You'll never be an astronaut."

"Fuck you, bitch," he said, and that's when I left.