The Worst Opening Line Ever

Submitted by James:

Kim and I started talking online and she picked out a coffee place for us to meet for a first date.  I showed up right on time, but she wasn't there.

Ten minutes later, I called her, but she didn't pick up.  I grabbed a copy of the newspaper and began reading.

Fifteen minutes after I had read everything interesting, I tried her phone once more.  No answer.  Okay, I thought, I'm being stood up.  Whatever.

Just as I was preparing to leave, she burst into the cafe as if she had just run ten miles to make it there.  She walked over to me, panting and wiping the sweat off of her forehead.

"Sorry," she said, "I was just on another date and I lost track of time!"


  1. lol, that's classic! You have to at least give her credit for being honest though.

  2. I have to agree, that's pretty hilarious.

  3. So wait, people aren't allowed to casually date more than one person?

  4. On the bright side, you were the closer... theoretically.

  5. When meeting people online for dating purposes, it's not unusual to have a "getting to know you" date for more than one person.

  6. Yes, but you're not supposed to talk about it!

  7. Stacking dates is fine. Telling the dates what you are doing is not.

  8. I'm always a bit weary of people dating multiple people.. If we get together I'll always be wondering if she chose me for me, or because she wanted a relationship, and I was just the best option at that moment.

    Call me naieve, but I like "falling in love" without "looking for love" :)

  9. i agree 110% with 7:01 AM - no one wants to be compared and chose because their significant other didn't choose them.


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