Portrait of the Artist as a Strange Man

Submitted by Elizabeth:

Billy invited me to his basement to listen to him play his electric guitar.  I sat down across from him and he started to play.

He played song after song after riff after riff for at least a half-hour, and I was getting hungry.  I finally yelled his name over the playing, told him that I liked his music, but wondered if we could take a break.  He rolled his eyes at me but we went upstairs for lunch.

He made sandwiches and during lunch he told me that he liked painting portraits of people, which I said was cool, and then he said that they were portraits of people he knew, but he painted them as if they were dead.  Then, he asked me to go back downstairs with him to listen to him play some more.

I told him that I had to go.


  1. Wow. Let me guess. He's pumping gas or working at mcdonalds now, right? Sounds like an epic loser.

  2. epic bad date
    on behalf of all males who strive to provide a good time, I apologize, and sincerely wish you a grand adventure on your next endeavor.

  3. Liar! LIAR!! You didn't really have to go!!!

  4. "Billy invited me to his basement to listen to him play his electric guitar."
    That's a red flag right there. Plus he's a musician so basically an automatic arsehole and probably a loser.

  5. Also his name is Billy and he lives in a basement. He's not exactly carving his name in the oaken door of history with a knife made out of win, is he?


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