Pig for Dinner

Submitted by Laura:

John was a chauvinist pig from the moment he picked me up.

"What, no skirt?" he remarked at my black dress pants, "I'm taking you out to dinner!"

"That's why I wore my dress pants," I informed him.

John worked as an appliance salesman at an electronics retailer.  He was obviously very proud of his work.

"I get calls from women all the time at work asking me how to work their toasters.  Their toasters, for crying out loud!  And don't get me started on the women who can't even operate a vacuum.  They call the man and he walks them through it, every time."

I thought that he was joking around.  In today's day, was it truly this possible for a guy to be so clueless and conceited?

At dinner, he was clearly checking out the waitress.  I called him on it.  "See anything you like?"

He rolled his eyes, shook his head, and reached across the table.  "Relax, baby," he said.  I didn't take his hand and he said, "Hello?  I'm reaching my hand out to you, here."

"I see it.  I think I'm okay for now."

Our meals arrived.  He checked out the waitress again, but more blatantly than before.  Ooh, that's teaching me for not taking your hand!

I don't like chauvinists, or just guys who act like little boys, so a crazy idea popped into my head.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom and found our waitress around the corner.  I explained to her that I was on an awful, uncomfortable date, and that I could use her help.  So we came up with a plan.

The next time, when she came by to take our plates, she turned away from the table with them.  John leered after her, and she instantly turned around, catching him in the act.  She said, "Shouldn't you be more interested in your date's ass than mine?"

I stood up and said, "Oh my god, this is so embarrassing... I can't."

I went to leave the restaurant, and John was right behind me.  "Hey," he said, "You don't just go leaving me at a table by myself!"

I said, "Uh, yes I do!  Goodbye!" and I walked as fast as I could away from him.


  1. Yikes. He sounds like the very-potentially-violent type. Good, risky escape

  2. Good for you!!! i Love the ending.

  3. Love it! Glad to know the waitress was in on it, and totally busted him down to the peon level he is!

  4. This guy sounds like he has control issues and that usually leads to abuse. Plus, he is probably insecure about his place in the world, hence his need to trump up such a pathetic job. Good work getting out of that mess!

  5. Nice! Good for you!

  6. Yeah, congrats for not ending up in his room and taking more abuse like 92% of the other stories on here.

  7. You can't what? Don't leave us hanging like that!

  8. Do me a favor and marry me?

  9. Sounds too good to be true.

  10. Attah girl!

    I have to ask, though: dress pants on a dinner date? Really?


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