Dirty, Dirty Laundry

Submitted by Jeremy:

On my way to my first date with Janet, she called to ask if I could pick up her laundry from a laundromat that was on the way.  She said that it would save her a lot of time and that she'd really, really appreciate it.

I thought that it was a strange thing to ask a guy you don't really know... you'd want me touching your laundry?  And we're not married and you're already asking me to run errands for you?  Well, fine.  I want the date to go well, and it was on my way, after all.

She had told me which dryer was hers.  I found it and emptied it as quickly as possible.  Once I had bagged it up, I threw it into the back seat of my car and drove to her place.

She gave me a great big hug and a thank you.  She opened the bag.

"This isn't my laundry."

Crap.  "You told me machine seven."

"I told you machine six."

"I'm pretty sure you told me seven."

"How could you get six and seven confused?  Are you a fucking idiot?  This isn't my goddamn laundry!"

She threw a clump of some stranger's socks in my face.

I shouted, "Fine!  Then return it yourself!" and left.

On my way out, she called.  "You get the fuck back here right now!  I am NOT going to be alone with some stranger's clothes."

I hung up.  I hope that those stranger's clothes gave her hours and hours of discomfort.


  1. haha! awesome.

  2. Weeeeeeeeeeeird...

  3. Something says this shouldn't be as hilarious as it is. XD

  4. Clothes can be really intimidating if you're left on your own with them.

  5. @Andy
    Hahahahaha... ah, yes. I also loved that line.

  6. Typical abuser strategy for a setup - give you the wrong info, make you look like a fool, and then scream at you about it. It's a good bet this was intentional - she was making an emotional connection with you, so she had to put you in your place.

  7. Sounds like a sweetheart.

  8. Another one that smells fishy. You hardly know each other yet you cuss and scream at each other when meeting for the first time. You talk to each other like you're both 10 year old siblings, or at least that's the way it's written. Neither of you has a sense of humor. This story sucked!

  9. What you should have done when she asked you to pick up her laundry is say... "clearly you are not ready for this date. Go get your own shit and call me when you're ready.. I'll be at the restaurant getting cocktails." Or where ever you were going to take her.


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