Don't Upset the Farmers

Submitted by Roberta:

I was at a farmers' market with Rick (first date).  He broke a banana off of a nearby bunch and put it down between his legs.  He asked me to "check it out."

At first, I smiled and shook my head, but he kept doing it.  We passed by a yellow squash display, and he took one and held that between his legs, then again with a zucchini.

I told him that I got it - his penis was a vegetable.  He said, "No, baby, it's all 100% meat."

He reached for some other wang-shaped item, I forgot which, when the vendor yelled at him to stop messing around with his produce if he wasn't going to buy it!

Rick shouted that he was testing it out to see how firm it was, and for some reason this made the vendor really, really angry.  He shouted some obscenities at Rick and Rick and I walked away to another vendor's stall further down.

When we made it there, Rick proceeded to use more vegetables as penises and then took some cantaloupes to use as breasts.  He put the cantaloupes down and tried to pick up two watermelons but dropped one and nearly dropped the other.

He got into a fight with the vendor over whether or not he had to pay for the dropped one, but he eventually did.  He bad-mouthed the vendor for the rest of the time and then got all touchy-feely with me.

I told him that I had plans and that it was nice spending time with him.  That was the end of that.


  1. What is up with all these posters who stick with a bad date long after a reasonable person would have bailed? I think most sane women with any self-esteem would have ended this date after this guy fought with the first vendor. Ladies it is 2009 now, not 1959, and you don't need to humor losers anymore.

  2. Hey, check this out....

  3. since when do 8 year olds go on dates??

  4. Fruits and vegetables are sexy. Ease off.

  5. He was probably insecure about his own virility and his member, felt he had to reassure you in some way.


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