Submitted by Allison:
I was at the movies on a first date with Dave. He went to hold my hand, which I felt was a bit forward, but I didn't stop him.
During the movie, he shifted around and moaned a little bit, but nothing too noticeable until–
OH MY GOD HIS OTHER HAND WAS IN HIS PANTS.
He was going at it a bit too long for it to be mere scratching. I squeezed his hand. He turned to me and I told him to stop it. He said, "What? My itchiness?"
"Stop touching yourself," I said. He pulled his hand out of his pocket and we watched the rest of the movie. He didn't mention anything about it and seemed perfectly fine for the rest of the date, but if you were sitting next to him, watching and listening, you'd know that what he was doing was pretty far from itching.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
ReplyDeleteOhhh so romantic
ReplyDeletewas his name Pee Wee?
ReplyDeleteThere was a "rest of the date"? You didn't walk out? That MUST have been a good movie! Every woman I know would have been out the door in a flash!
ReplyDeleteSure, when I masturbate in public on a first date, the girl pepper sprays me, calls her uncle who's in a biker gang, and he beats me until I lose enough blood to be considered legally dead for 5 minutes, but this guy stumbles on the girl who not only continues the date... but continues to HOLD HANDS WITH THE MASTURBATING MAN!! Do you have any idea how much that had to have helped him get off??
ReplyDeleteWhich part of Lord of the Rings was this?
ReplyDeleteAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAH.
ReplyDeleteSee. Chicks lead men on with dumb isht like this. She held his hand while he was playing pocket billiards and then continued the date.
Guess she wasn't disgusted enough to leave and probably married the chicken choker.
Oh my lord. I'm so sorry, OP.
ReplyDelete