A Hairy Incident

Submitted by Brad

Kim is in one of my art classes, and we were partners once on a group project. She always wears a blue/gray wool hat and sometimes does her hair in braids. She is really adorable, but she never seemed interested in anything beyond a platonic relationship with me.

So imagine my surprise when I found a large manila envelope under my dorm room door with "To Brad, from Kim," written on it.  She had drawn a heart between our names.

I opened it up and screamed.

Inside was a whole clump – a mess – a tangle – of hair.

I nearly fell over.  What was this all about?

Next class, I went up to Kim with the envelope and asked her to explain herself.

"It's hair," she informed me.

I told her that I had figured that out on my own, and asked her why she had left it.  She told me that she had daydreamed about doing it for weeks.  I asked her why she would cut off her hair for me, and she replied, "I wouldn't.  That wasn't my hair."

I asked her whose hair it was, and she said it was a hand-picked clump from a local salon.  "But," she went on, "I did add one or two hairs of my own.  I think I sneezed into it, too."

I haven't talked to her for most of the rest of the semester.  I'm afraid that other, less savory items might end up under my door.


  1. When she told you that it was hair, you should have said, "You're right! It is hair! Let's do it!" just like she was hoping you would.

  2. Not really a date was it? Anyways: indeed very weird, but I probably would tried to make the best out of that situation :)

  3. No way this is true; it's too weird!!
    Anon#2...WTF could he have done to "make the best out of that situation"?! WTF do you say to a crazy person who SENDS YOU A COLLECTION OF RANDOM STRANGERS' HAIR IN AN ENVELOPE?!

    Brad, you should have alerted someone on campus b/c that's the type of sociopathic shit that signals worse incidents are to come.

  4. i bet it's true. it's pretty much the weirdest story ever though.

  5. Eh. I believe him. Art school students are weird. But I love Nikki's reaction.

  6. no guy screams...you yelled...the story flows better...

    when i read "screamed" i imagined you cried right after because it was so frightening to you.

  7. @Anonymous above me: he probably did.

  8. JMG: I went to an art school. I was friends with the kinds of kids who would get high and think the best way of telling a girl/guy they liked her/him would be to send really creepy shit in the mail. Plus I've had a few stalkers who've left me questionably tasteful gifts on my doorsteps. Hence my reaction.

    Seriously though...HAIR? Why didn't she just send fingernail clippings or something like a normal batshit crazy person?

  9. lol at Anon 2 above. That's funny.

    OP, you should've just sent some used tissues back to her and then just winked at her in class. Shit like that will drive this crazy girl wild!


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