Chromosomal Combat

Submitted by Miranda:

One summer in my early twenties, I worked at a big law office and met Daniel, who was right out of law school. He would always stop by to visit my desk on his way to or from someplace, and I thought that he was a nice guy. We flirted back and forth and he asked me out.

He took me to a really nice restaurant in the city, which I told him wasn't necessary, but he insisted. We ordered wine and had a very pleasant discussion. For a little while.

Then, he asked, "What's your ideal future family going to be like?"

I said, "Oh, a nice house out of the city, not too big, on a good piece of property."

"How many kids?"

"Zero. I don't want any."

He looked at me as if I had punched him in the mouth. He said, "No kids?"

"Not a one."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, and that's my final answer."

He couldn't seem to fathom it and asked, "Why?"

"Lots of reasons. I don't like what pregnancy will do to my body–"

"But you can just work out and get your old body back!"

"I don't want the responsibility."

"They'll be off at school most of the time, and you can always hire a nanny!"

"I want my independence. I want to be able to travel."

"Plenty of people travel with their kids!"

"I just don't want them."

He said, "But you haven't laid out a convincing reason. Everyone has kids."

"Exactly the reason why I don't want them."

It was clear after this point that he had given up on me as a potential future bride, assuming that he had even considered me one in the first place. He just couldn't understand, or maybe I represented a threat to his way of thinking.

I still don't want kids.

Especially his.


  1. For once a guy entertains commitment and parenthood in a relationship, and he ends up dating the most superficial woman ever!

    This story should have been submitted by the guy, as a pretty bad date.

    The first reason she serves for not wanting kids is her appearance? Wow. Just wow.

  2. Pregnancy does more to a woman's body than just changing their appearance, bub.

    I'm a guy, I want kids, and I think that she was totally in the right here.

  3. Kudos to her for being honest and upfront from the beginning.
    She can have whatever reason she wants for not having kids - if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to. End of story! Not everyone on this planet needs to multiply and it's not ever woman's desire to raise children! Much better to not have unwanted kids than to try and raise a family just cause "everyone does".

  4. Same for him Amy, if he wants kids, how does that make him a bad date?

  5. Yeah this site is moving from "spectacularly, amazingly bad dates" to "regular dates everyone who's ever done much dating has had."

  6. I think it's great and I wish I would run across more women who don't want kids. I think it's ridiculous for that sort of thing just to be assumed. As a guy I always get those questions "why don't you want kinds?" and "seriously?". Some people just don't want them. And why even try to talk someone into having them if they dont want them?

    Obviously these two people have different life goals and there's nothing wrong with that. One should not try to belittle another for not following the rest of the sheep.

  7. 10% of married couple conscientiously decide not to have children, it's really not that uncommon. What is very common is the stigma associated with not wanting to have kids.

    Studies have shown that more educated persons tend have fewer children later in life or none at all.

  8. Would you like to go out with me? I hate kids!

  9. How is this guy an asshole? He didn't have interest in you any longer since he was obviously looking to settle down and you weren't the person for that. Snarky remarks like "maybe I reresent a threat to his way of thinking" and "...certainly not his" show that you're a vapid, self-centered person who can't understand his way of thinking. It's fine that you don't want kids, it's fine that you came right out and said that, just don't act like they've in some way wronged you and don't go on writing up a story about it like it's the most fascinating thing in the world.

  10. Over population. Nuff said.

  11. Hey you were a kid once and your parents probably didn't want you either. Is narcissism a product of nature or nurture? Either way thank you for deciding not to have kids, there are enough self-centered d-bags and d-baguettes in the world as is.

  12. I'm not sure why people come here to judge. Someone shares their bad date story, it's a perspective. An honest self portrayal. If you're perfect, then by all means criticize. I enjoy reading the stories and hearing the experiences, I thank anyone and everyone who shares their dating stories on this site, whether I agree or not.

  13. "I don't want the responsibility."

    "They'll be off at school most of the time, and you can always hire a nanny!"

    He said, "But you haven't laid out a convincing reason. Everyone has kids."

    If he can't understand a single reason not to have kids (not that he needs to agree); finishes off with a zinger about a nanny being equal to responsibility and "everyone" having them simply as a reason to do it-- he's certainly not qualified to have them yet.

  14. It's a bad date because he kept trying to bring her over to his side of thinking, implying she was wrong for not wanting kids. She never once told him he was wrong for wanting kids. More power to you, girl!

  15. I wouldn't be surprised if, for example, this story is actually just a bunch of contrived rubbish to push an agenda. It fits all the criteria. The story has a list of positive features that glamorize the agenda (having no kids means freedom, travel, beauty, etc.) The story paints the person opposed to the agenda in a negative light, (how dare you assume I want to have children, you... you... LAWYER!!) It even ends with a statement that indicates having children is so passe, and such a medieval ideal - "Everyone has kids. Exactly the reason I don't want them." Blah, blah, blah.

    On the other hand, I totally agree with the idea of not having kids, and the tiny amount of freedom it presents in this cesspool of a world. So, this woman would probably be right up my alley, if she even exists. And if she is fiction, then the author ought to reconsider his/her agenda, because the collective intelligence of the world has already reached an all time low, and is still falling.

    People clever enough to push their agenda's in such diabolical ways really should reproduce.


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