Some Strings Attached

Submitted by Ricky:

This girl, who was fairly cute, emailed me via a dating site and wanted to meet up for some drinks on Saturday.

So Saturday came around, I didn't hear from the girl, a friend called me and invited me over to his place to drink some beers and watch a stupid movie. Before the movie started, the girl called me, she seemed really excited to meet me, and said that she called in a favor to get off early.

I felt a bit obligated to go meet up with her, but I felt bad for my friend. So I told her that I couldn't because I was with my friend and he didn’t want to be a third wheel. She said that it was cool, she had a girlfriend with her too, and to meet them at a bar.

So we drove to the bar, hung out by my car for 15 minutes, and these two chicks came stumbling up to us.

One looked like the girl who sent me her pic, but she had very short brown hair, she was about 30 pounds heavier than the pic she sent over, but still had a huge rack. Her friend was a cute blonde with a weird accent and they were both already hammered.

I introduced myself to the girl and she pulled me in close and gave me a big hug and grabbed my butt. The other girl, the drunk blonde with an accent who was there for my friend, literally threw herself on him and pushed him back onto the hood of my car and straddled him; we just met these girls like for 2 seconds.

So the three of us sat down in the bar and talked, this girl proceeded to tell me way more than I needed to know. I asked about her tattoos, she had several, and one said “Property of SSSS” on the back of her neck. She said that she was emancipated when she was 16 and got married to a tattoo artist whose nickname was SSSS and he gave her all her tats and piercings, she had her nipples and other things pierced, use your imagination.

She then told us that SSSS beat her, robbed stores, stole cars, possibly killed people, and was currently in prison and that she ratted on him, but heard he may have gotten out on parole. She then said that is why she had to work two jobs to sustain herself and her habits. I asked her what habits, she said she will tell me later.

She saw some small dots on my hands and asked me if they were prison tats. I told I had never been to prison and I did them when I was a kid. This girl then told us she had been to prison and just got out, showed us her prison tats and said that she did some bad things and had some bad habits.

She got a call from some friends who invited us out for pool, so we left the bar. My friend was laughing the whole time, he said he would ask to go home but wanted to see where the evening would lead.

Once we were at the pool place, we met up with her friends. She introduced me as her boyfriend to them, kissed me on the forehead, and then sat in my lap. I was thinking the whole time, “this chick is nuts, I want to leave…” After a bit, the girl and her friends disappeared to the bathroom. My friend and I devised a plan, he was going to say he was sick and wanted to go.

So a seemingly long time later, all 9 of the peeps showed back up to the pool table again, and all of them were sniffing their noses like they were runny or something and then it clicked. This girl was a coke head.

I said that we had to go and started walking out. She and her blonde friend followed us out to my car. She begged us to stay and said that she wanted me to come home with her and her drunk blonde friend. I told her that I knew what her bad habits were and that I didn’t think that it was a good idea, she said "so I do a little nose candy…"

My friend and I finally got in my car and drove the out of there as fast as we could.


  1. Bullet. You dodged one!

  2. Any guy who would walk away from this one is gay. If you don't
    think you're gay you need to get it checked out. Because you're gay.

  3. Hey Mister Pointer Outer. Guys who sit around pointing out how "gay" other guys are usually desperately afraid of being gay, because they are afraid that everyone will hate them.

    I've been propositioned by out-of-control women before, thank god I had the wits to turn them down. I turned one down and someone I know didn't, that night she wrecked his car and put him in the hospital.

    If you want to meet her to prove how gay you aren't, I can probably arrange it. Make sure your medical insurance is paid up first.

  4. Since you went out with her in the first place because had a "huge rack", you got what you deserved.

    -Another Anonymous

  5. I would have taken her home and at least got a poke out of the wasted night... Can't really call it a wasted night though, getting drunk > a stupid movie... coked out big tits > your boy friend.

  6. I wonder what's going on in her life that she can be a coke addict and overweight at the same time.

  7. My sentiments exactly!

  8. I love that all of these guys are talking about the things they'd do to her instead of just leaving. Chances are this girl is a living zoo of STDs and various other things you wouldn't want within 50 feet of your junk. I say bravo to the escape.


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