Submitted by Wesley:
Caroline and I met up last week for our first date at an Italian restaurant. The conversation was average, and surrounded mostly her non-profit advocacy work.
I paid for dinner, as I had planned, but she did not say thank you. She did not offer to leave the tip. I then took her out for ice cream and again she didn't say thank you.
For some reason or another, this really irritated me. I would've appreciated SOMETHING to let me know that it was appreciated, as opposed to EXPECTED. Maybe she was just nervous, but her lack of appreciation was a real turn off.
Second date? What do you think?
Yeah kind of weird on her part. I don't know if this is the right place to look for advice though, I thought we were supposed to dish out ridicule... :-D
ReplyDeleteSo you want a thank you for chivalry? It's not really too much to ask, but consider that if YOU asked HER out, then it kind of IS expected. Rest assured, she probably went home and told her friends what a gentleman you are. I'd say a second date isn't a bad idea.
ReplyDeleteDon't ask her out again. If I ask someone out on a date - I pay. And yes I do at least expect a 'thank you' in return. It's called manners. If someone gave me something as simple as a piece of gum I would have the decency to say thank you, let alone dinner AND ice cream.
ReplyDeleteMark's got the right idea, don't take her out again. If she doesn't have the decency to thank you for dinner will she express gratitude for anything. Sounds like a stuck up chick. Probably too busy patting herself on the back for all the non profit wok she does, lame!
ReplyDeleteMaybe she thought you were supposed to be a non-profit advocate too?
ReplyDeleteFollow her home and rape her.
ReplyDeleteI once went out with a girl who didn't say thank-you. I married her 6 years later. After 3 dates of no thank-you's I asked her why she didn't. She hadn't thought about it. She didn't date much and normally she had to pay her way so she was shocked too.
ReplyDeleteIf you liked her and that was the only problem then sure 2nd date, what can it hurt?
It sounds like the date was only ok to begin with and I agree with your instinct. I always pay for dates (at least, at first) and I appreciate it when she says thank you. In a way, the whole thing is an exchange of thank yous. Paying is a thank you for indulging you and spending time with you and her thank you is for your politeness.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she just forgot or didn't think about it, but commenter above who believes no thank you is in order is way off base and probably high maintenance.
if you ask me, not saying thank you is totally rude. no matter the circumstance, it's just common courtesy. forget her!
ReplyDeleteIt was very rude of her, but maybe she was really nervous and simply forgot? I'd say go for the second date but if she continues with the rudeness then nix a third.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what some of the other posters are saying. I could see why someone would forget to say "thank you" if they were nervous. She probably didn't realize it at all.
ReplyDeleteDunno -- I usually thank my date at the end, not constantly throughout.
ReplyDeleteObviously something else was with this girl other then her not saying "Thank You" for a meal. I think you just blew it out of proportion. What if she was nervous and was just spazzed out on the manners part?
ReplyDeleteIt was just dinner and an ice cream....I bet you wouldn't have said thank you if she gave you a BJ. =)
the book is called "haunted" not "ghost"
ReplyDeleteI'm a woman, too, and let me tell you, no matter how nervous I was on a date, I would never forget to say thanks for someone buying me dinner!
ReplyDeleteI would take her out again, and I would make it a "small" date - coffee or a picnic. Give her a chance to show whether or not she's digging for gold and takes it for granted or can appreciate the smaller things.
But if she doesn't say thanks for the second one, I'd let her go if it really bothers you that much (it would bother me).
What is initially a small annoyance snowballs over time...
Man, look at all these comments! The only way this could have been more controversial would be if you were Israely, she was a Palestinian and the date took place at an abortion party.
ReplyDeleteY'all getting fussed over minor things like P's and Q's. You're all so analy retentative that it's a wonder you can leave the bathroom let alone try to initate a relationship.