Consequences of Not Reading the Fine Print

Audrey and I were on our third date.  She's a pre-med student who loves acting in Shakespeare productions.

After dinner, she invites me back to her place for some fun.  Who am I to refuse?  We end up on her bed in the dark and commence with the fooling around.

I slide my hand under her shirt and a moment later, there's the unmistakable sound of an unlocking apartment door.

Audrey breaks away.  She says, "Shit!  My boyfriend's here!"

These, along with, "Hey, I'm a dude," are likely the last four words that I want to hear at this time.

"You have a boyfriend?" I whisper.

Throwing all discretion to the four winds, she says, likely louder than necessary, "What do I do?"

"Audrey?" a very boyfriend-like voice emanates from the entryway.

I push her out of the way and stumble into her closet.  She follows right behind me and hisses, "No!  Not in there!"

I close the closet door between us.  The lights go on in her room.  Her boyfriend walks in.

"Hey baby."

"Hey!"  She embraces him and they kiss.  For an instant I wonder if her lips will taste any different to him than usual.

I push myself deeper into the closet as she convinces him to take her out somewhere.  They leave, and ten minutes later, I leave.

If she calls me again, should I be all up ons?


  1. Dude, if she calls again, you should let it go straight to voice mail and never respond. She is already a cheater, the last thing you need is a pissed boyfriend/ex on your tail.

  2. Completely agree with the cheater aspect. Once a cheater forever a cheater.

  3. pick up! have some fun, you only live once. so dont take her seriously....but use her for what she uses you for. simple fun

  4. Invite her to your place next time.

  5. lol @ #4 with the (good) logistics

  6. Smash the back end out!!! Fo shiz.

  7. I think you should ask yourself "What would R.Kelly Do?"... the man has loads of experience.

  8. ^^^ I agree

  9. I was once that girl. She'll eat you up and spit you out. I did.

  10. I would have stolen something belonging to the boyfriend, left, and never talked to her again.

  11. Whenever I'm in this situation I jerk off into her underwear drawer before I leave.

  12. Mister Pointer Outer, you always have the most innovative solutions! Don't ever change...

  13. A real man would've put on his clothes, walked out the bedroom door, said to the boyfriend, "She didn't tell me about any boyfriend." That way she'd be left alone with nobody.

  14. ^^^ Exactly what the above poster said! What a pansy, hiding in the closet.

  15. Another great post. Wow. I would have stolen something if I was left alone in her house while she was out, though. A keepsake.

  16. Post notes all over the walls when they leave. Anything.
    Move things around, unplug the TV.
    When they get back she will know what happened... he will not.

  17. You should have taken some condoms out of her drawer, unwrapped them and left them all over the bedroom for when her boyfriend comes back.


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