8/25/2011

Why Pre-Date Contracts Are a Good Idea

Story Sent in by Sam:

Alana and I were out to dinner on our first date. She insisted on paying about 20 times, and although I was ready, willing, and able, I let her foot the bill without much fuss. She said, "You can treat me to something else." Fair enough.

Once dinner was over, I had planned to take her to mini-golf or to a cafe that had live music. Alana, however, had other ideas.

She said, "My car is packed with stuff. Can you help me move it into my new place?"

I hadn't planned on helping someone move as part of a date, but she reminded me, "I paid for dinner, so you can help me out this way."

I liked her well enough, and thought that it might have even been a fun sort of bonding activity. We went to her new apartment, which was in a house, and she pulled her car up to her entrance. She then unlocked the house door and led me inside to an empty room where she wanted her things to be placed.

"Go ahead and get started," she said, "I'll be right out." Guessing that she had to use a bathroom, and a little surprised at the amount of trust she was giving me, I went to work.

When I returned to the car for a second load, I noticed her setting up a lawn chair nearby in the yard. She had an iced drink with her, and she sat down to watch me. I stopped working.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I replied, "You're just going to watch me work?"

She said, "Uh, I paid for dinner. Is that a problem? I mean, I paid for dinner, after all."

"I wasn't aware that manual labor would be the return favor."

"Let me get this straight: you can enjoy the fruits of my hard-earned money, but you feel to entitled to earn it, yourself?"

I didn't like her tone, but I didn't want to cause a scene. I promised myself that I'd bring in one more armful before asking her to pitch in.

Before I could, though, upon emerging to grab a fourth load, she said, "You can go a bit faster. It's getting late."

I carried in that last bunch, then I looked around for another exit from the house. I found a side exit and wasted no time. I left the house, snuck behind her about a yard's length away, made it to my own car, and drove off.

Less than a minute later, a phone call arrived from her. I ignored it, but I was sure to listen to it later.

"What a shitty human being you are. I slave over a week… a work week for the… for you and so we can have a pleasant dinner and how do you repay me? You're going to pay me back, you son of a bitch. I've got your number and I've got your ass, you slimy sack of sh–"

Deleted.


**********************************
A neato statistical analysis about marriage by the Census Bureau. (Thanks for sending it, Nikki!)

17 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What's with the sneaking too? Was she a 6'2" bodybuilder with a scary man voice? Or did the thought of telling some crazy bitch, "you crazy, bitch, good night" give the OP goose bumps? Hell, if anything, she might have actually started to see him as a man if he acted like one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Women like this are just used to doormat guys, who would either just accept this sort of situation in the vain hopes of poon or just because they don't want an argument and they're just gonna get it over with.

    I gotta respect the balls on this chick for getting out a lawn chair and an iced drink. Really, if she'd just talked with the guy and moved the occasional book or bag, he'd probably have moved all her shit inside no problem.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You're still a total tool for putting up with it for 3 loads, OP. Even if she'd hired a whole crew of guys to move the stuff and just wanted you to hang around while she supervised, the date is over. You can't move and have a date on the same night.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think the key to victory in this scenario would be to take her stuff in through the front door, and then continue through the back door to put it in the trash. If you played along with her manager role and had decent acting skills, you could have put half her possessions in the dumpster while she cheerfully gave you orders from her lawn chair in front of the house. Sure, it might take a little extra work, but if something's worth doing, it's worth doing RIGHT.

    ReplyDelete
  6. '... she reminded me, "I paid for dinner, so you can help me out this way."'

    And that was when you should have left, OP. She is the one who insisted on paying for dinner (obviously so she could make you her slave). If she had simply asked you, that's one thing, but the second she pulled the "You owe me!" shit, you should have left.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Another case of the massive pussy OP.
    What, he sneaks out, rather than telling her to go F herself?

    I mean, sitting there on a deck chair, drinking a cold drink, is a pretty damn obvious sign she is just trying to use the guy.

    wolfdreams had the best way to deal with it :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes, there seems to be a spate of men with no backbone going on dates lately. Maybe it's something in the water.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ^^ Agree with Jason, could we get a "OMG what a pussy OP"-tag?

    ReplyDelete
  10. wolfdreams01 - YES. That is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yeah, what Baku-chan said. She was obviously trying to guilt the OP into doing it by saying "But I paid for dinner!" If really made the OP feel guilty to leave after getting a free meal, he should have just tossed her a crumpled up $10 and left.

    ReplyDelete
  12. And by "she" I mean the date, not Baku-chan.

    ReplyDelete
  13. @wolfie, Jason, and Mellor

    Just because she was a b*tch doesn't mean you have to sink to her level.

    I would have been ok helping her move in, but the moment she sat down and started giving orders I would have left. It's not worth my time and effort to get into something with this girl.

    ReplyDelete
  14. People always throw that "sinking to her level" around like it's a bad thing... instead of a satisfying thing.

    To be fair, I know I wouldn't actually do it. IRL I would do one of two things - give her my half of the dinner money and leave, or just leave. I'm not sure which.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hahaha, agreed, Mellor. And yes, OP was a pussy who should have left. I like how at the end, he thought he redeemed himself by deleting her voicemail after "only" listening to part of it. Way to grow a sack, buddy.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I would not have snuck out, I would have asked her if she even liked me or she just bought me dinner to help move her shit. Most likely she'd claim to like you, but due a poor job acting. At that time you walk over to her, take some cash out of your wallet, give her half of dinner and push her off the chair onto the grass, call her a bitch and walk away! That would be a great ending!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Who came up with that statistical analysis? Why is the marriage and divorce rate that different for men than for women? You'd assume every marriage and every divorce involves one of each, so the %s should be the same - unless you're also including same-sex marriage, and even then I doubt gay and lesbian couples make up 10% of American marriages.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.