No, Very No, and Rhino

Email Sent in by Hal:

Hi Hal.

I'm so grateful that you think what I'm doing is great. Maybe there's hope for me after all!

It took me a while to acclimate to life in the southeast. People are friendlier here, but I also think that they're less reserved with being judgmental. No filters. It's okay, just a little unexpected!

I want to open up an alternative medicine practice but it's a bit difficult given that most of my materials are tightly regulated! Of course this is because of drug companies. I was in Sumatra ten years ago and had powdered rhino horn mixed in with a drink and since then I haven't been sick once. It's amazing but big pharma is just too powerful. It's a shame because it could save so many lives.

I'm taking a trip back to southeast asia to get more rhino horn. The public must know!

What are you up to this weekend?


Stop her.


  1. Personally, I find that nothing helps the constitution quite like fresh panda liver. Or Dolphin brains.

  2. Since I had group up human vertebrae, I'm immune to cancer!

  3. I ate a baby and now I don't age! It's amazing! The anti-cannibal laws are just the man trying to keep the secret hidden! The public must know!!

  4. A dingo ate my baby. But dingo meat can pass for dog in a pinch.

  5. I love the added link there.
    People like Mary are the reason tigers may soon become extinct.

  6. Tigers will never be extinct, silly Gnome! Everyone knows that if you eat a tiger, not only will you never have a sore back again, but two new baby tigers appear in the jungle for free.

  7. I love the dis-logic here.

    Rhino horn isn't illegal because the animal is nearly extinct, it's because Big Pharma wants it all for themselves!

  8. Mary might be interested in this Tiger repelling stone I have right here.


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