Not of This Planet

Story Sent in by Heather:

The part on Scott's profile that was supposed to have the information on what what he did for a living was blank. I asked him in a couple of messages what his job was, but he was evasive, saying that it was too sensitive to discuss over email. So when we met over drinks, I asked him point blank.

He said, "I just quit my job as a Sharper Image distributor to pursue my dream: I'm going to be the first human on Mars."

He paused, I guessed for dramatic effect. Realizing that he had a few screws loose I asked him, "How will you accomplish that?"

He said, "I've been working out," and he lifted his shirt to show me that he had, indeed, been working out. He had nice abs, in his defense. Then he pulled his shirt down and went on, "And I have friends in the Air Force who'll let me join as a Staff Sergeant. Then I just have to contact NASA and show them this," and he lifted his shirt again - nice abs! - and finished, "And then I'll probably be on the short list. I just want to do something amazing with my life."

The future Mars astronaut threw back a few more beers, showed his abs to a few more women in the bar, then stumbled out of the place without even saying bye to me.


  1. Sounds like you got a real space case there OP. He definitely wasn't a rocket scientist. I bet he thought his mother called him "sun" because he was so bright. *insert tacky joke here about how his father should have shot his load into space*

    1. Some of those puns are pretty far out. I had a good pun but I need a little longer to planet.

    2. I'll be counting down the seconds waiting for it. Take your time, don't blast off a reply too quickly.

  2. So he'll just bypass the years of active duty needed to actually become a staff sergeant? His head is lost in space somewhere.

  3. I kind of want to see this great abs. I am picturing Tom Welling

  4. Hmmm...if he keeps stumbling out of bars, the alcohol probably had a negative influence on his famous abs.


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