Contain Yourself

Story Sent in by Malcolm:

Lisa had one of those online profiles that made your heart skip a beat. It was well-written, funny, and her photos were drop dead gorgeous. We had read the same books, loved the same films, and even both hated pistachio ice cream. I didn't write to women over the dating site too often, but I would've been foolish to not write to Lisa. And she wrote back! And she was nice! And articulate! We kept up a fine conversation for a few weeks until we finally had the time in our schedules for a date.

I took her out for dinner to a crepe place that she had said she liked. We ate crepes, drank, and had a great time. I was happy with how it went and apparently so was she, since she called me up the next day to ask me when we were going out again.

For our second date I had the idea to take her out on a picnic. The weather had become consistently nice (it was spring) and we both liked the outdoors. I picked a park, packed some food, and met her there. We sat down in a meadow right by a stream. To say it was idyllic was to be completely honest. It was like out of a greeting card.

After we ate and chatted for a little bit she gazed across the meadow and stared. I asked her what it was she saw. A deer? Some people? A bear?

She replied, "I think I just saw my ex."

I looked across the field and didn't see anyone. However, we were probably by some paths and it was possible that one of them snaked through the meadow before turning back into the woods or something.

Before I could reply she jumped to her feet, handed me her sandwich to hold, and said she'd be right back. She tore across the field toward the trees and was lost to sight.

Was she ditching me? The thought had unfortunately crossed my mind, but she had left a pair of Tupperware containers behind and I figured that at the very least, she'd be back for them.

She wasn't "right back" as she said she'd be, so after almost 30 minutes I packed up our stuff and headed off in the direction she had gone. I called for her up and down the deserted paths but she didn't respond. I went to the parking lot and her car was still there. I knew she'd eventually have to return to it so I waited there for a little while longer, maybe another half hour.

When she still didn't show up, I left a concerned note on her windshield and put her Tupperware containers on her hood. Then I left, albeit with a bad feeling.

I didn't hear from her that night despite having left her a text and a voicemail. I didn't hear from her the next day, either. I wrote her an email to ask her if she was okay.

She wrote back the next day. It was a single line telling me how rude and thoughtless it was for me to leave her Tupperware on her car "so that anyone could just come by and steal them."

I wrote back that it wasn't nearly as rude as just up and disappearing in the middle of our date. She then responded that I was lucky that nothing had happened to her containers because if something did, she'd call a lawyer on me. I wrote back that I hoped that she and her containers would have a very happy life together, and that was it.


  1. OP needs to go through newspaper archives and find out if any superhero made an appearance on that day, at around that time. We never know...

  2. Nice tupperware ain't free stupid.

  3. You don't know OP, maybe she ran across some cool bird houses or something...


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