Flowers For I Forget

Story Sent in by Craig:

On my second date with Ellen, I brought her flowers when I went over to pick her up at her house. She put them in a vase and then excused herself for a moment. I figured she went to finish getting ready or she went to the bathroom or whatnot.

When she came back she stopped and stared at the flowers for the longest time. She asked, "Where did those come from?" with a straight face.

I thought she was kidding around and I smiled, but she was in no mood to smile. She said, "Did you put those there? Where did you get the vase?"

I said, "I just gave them to you. You took out the vase and put them there. Five minutes ago. You don't remember?"

She said, "I think I'd remember doing that. Did you, like, go through the cupboards and take a vase? That's not cool."

I said, "You just put them in there! Right before you took off just a second ago!"

She said, "I'd remember doing that!" then paused and asked, "Are you sure?"


She stared at the flowers and at me for way longer than a normal person would. Then she shrugged and said, "If you say so."

We went out to dinner and she behaved pretty strangely the entire time, either talking a lot all at once or shutting up for minutes at a time. I dropped her back off at her house when the date was over and as I drove to my place she texted me, "Did you give me flowers?"

I didn't respond, then or ever. I guess life just needs its mysteries.


  1. She was really a fish piloting a human body (best I could do). Explains why she only had a memory 7 seconds long.

    1. I was thinking Drew Barrymore in 50 first Dates.

  2. Homegirl's meds need to be upped.

    I would have played dumb and been like "Hmmm, that's strange... is there a card on the bouquet?" Gaslighting is always good fun.

  3. Rebuttal:

    Craig couldn't take the hint that I wasn't interested and he had a nasty habit of going through my cupboards. I hope my Operation: Nutcase plan was enough to put him off for good. So far, so good.


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