Nightmare at Three Feet

Story Sent in by Adam:

It was my first date with Rosemary and we were walking through Central Park. There were lots of kids running around and she asked me if I liked kids. I told her I did and asked her if she liked them.

She said, "This is what I like to do to kids!" and then ran at the kids with arms waving and screaming.

The kids panicked, screamed, and scattered. A clump of nearby moms and a couple of dads shouted at Rosemary and then she ran past me and said, "Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!"

I ran behind her and we finally stopped running when we made it out of the park and a block away. I asked her why she harassed the kids and she said, "There's your answer for if I like them or not!"

I guess it was. I didn't ask her out a second time.


  1. I don't think I would've run. I'd probably just stare at her as she disappears around the corner and shrug.

  2. Replies
    1. That was the meme I was thinking of! Spot on Archer!

  3. Replies
    1. Rosemary's baby was a boy. Ok, I'm just being cheeky cause Steve beat me to the punch.

  4. Maybe she thought you were one of those guys who was hellbent on getting her married and pregnant after one date? Still kind of an overreaction.

    1. Why bother getting married? I always have 4-6 women pregnant, at any given time...

    2. Outstretchedwings, she's the one who brought up the topic though.

  5. If anyone is confused by rosemary's answer on whether she likes children or not the answer is, yes. She likes to terrorize them! Most people who don't like children avoid them like the plague. And if some nut were to run after my kid, I would run after them while I squirted them with water. It works for cats as well as people when they misbehave. Some people might not think what Rosemary done was a big deal but there are crazy people out there and you have no idea what their intentions are.

    1. I can totally see that entire paragraph in a future post. Someone is stealing it for their profile right now...


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