Just Buying Nuts Sounds Like Less Trouble

Profile Sent in by Chip:

My ideal first date:

First you'll fall into my arms. I'll spin you into a barstool and we'll order chips or nuts. You'll suck the salt off every nut and replace them into a saltless pile. The bartender will call you an apprentice of salt and we will whisk off into a new world of sunlight and grassy trees. Children will come up to us and you will pet them all. You will call them each a name from your past and in this way we will learn about each other. Finally you will grant me a boon and say I can take anything and begone. And in my insolence I will tell you I want you to resalt the nuts. You will then cast me into Africa and I will take a month to make it back to Florida. Will you be gone by then? Wait for me please.


  1. Is this person low key looking for a genie?

  2. Someone got hold of some bad shrooms.


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