How to Moose a Guy

Story Sent in by Ann:

Marc asked me out to what I thought would be a pretty standard first date at a bar. While there he asked me a lot of questions about forest animals, particularly moose. He asked if I had ever seen any, how large they had been, what I thought of them, and so on. It was weird but everyone has a favorite animal. I guess.

Then he pulled out these gloves that looked like moose hooves. He put them on and told me all about moose toes. Then he handed them to me and asked me to put them on. I did and then he asked me to wiggle them around like he had just demonstrated. I did that, too.

He then excused himself to go to the bathroom and when he returned he took the gloves back, said he had to go, and he left.

It wasn't until far too long afterward that I pieced together what had happened. Gross.


  1. I guess Marc never heard of the furry friends trend or else he would not have to sucker his dates into fulfilling his moose fantasies so that he could release his urges in a public restroom. I wonder what happens when he comes across a moose knuckle?

  2. Jared's missed naming opportunities for this story: Boris or Rocky.

    Thought going through Boris' (formally Marc's) mind: "Oh my god, she is actually going to do it!"

  3. I thought this was going to be a build-up to a bad moose-knuckle joke, but this was actually worse


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