Soldier Down

Story Sent in by Gail:

I have short hair and on our date Roland asked me if I had been in the military. I hadn't been. He told me that I should consider joining because of my haircut. I laughed it off (even though it wasn't really funny) and we continued on our walk.

When we walked past an armed service recruitment place he ran in and then came out with three brochures for me. "For your military career."

I took them and we continued on. Then after the conversation died he began to goose-step. "Aye-aye, sarge! Aye-aye, sarge!" He saluted me and nearly tripped off the curb as he marched up and down the sidewalk and around me. The military thing wore thin and I was ready to be done with it.

I asked him, "Could you stop?"

He saluted me and stood up straight as if waiting for an order. Then he said, "Now it's my turn to order you, soldier! Drop and gimme 20!"

I refused and then he threatened to court martial me. I told him to go ahead. He then said I was boring, said goodbye, and marched off like a moron. I brought the brochures back to the military recruiting place and then went home.


  1. OP you ARE boring. I mean, what would have been the harm of playing along? He wasn't gross, too forward, rude, or in any other way aggressive. I guess two personalities just didn't match here.

    1. I just looked up "boring." I'll be damned: it does mean "refusing to let a lame joke set the theme for an entire date." You learn something every day here!

    2. Sick buuuurn on Bananas, who would have ostensibly totally given this dude a chance.

      Bananas would be goose-stepping down Main St., all the way back to the Chippewa Reservation...

    3. My dear, dear Puiz. I blame this on the fact that this is mere written word. Truly, it's my fault. The comment above was, in fact, sarcasm.

    4. Steve, I NEVER goose-step. I do, however, two-step.

    5. Possible, as you say, it was a clash of character: he tried to make jokes, it wasn't her type of humour and it finishes there...

      BUT, when someone's idea of humour is mocking someone's physical appearance ON A FIRST DATE (or at any other time) and can't read by her facial expression that she didn't find it funny and carry on with the joke, and then blame her for not finding it funny, that's like a big red neon sign above his head saying "douche bag"! It would be a fair guess that the grossness, rudeness and forwardness would come sooner or later. Bullet dodged.

  2. LOL Arch!Perfect!I was thinking Hogan's Heroes or Gomer Pyle


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