No Love for Cookie Monster

Story Sent in by Roger:

Naomi and I were having some pretty good first date banter. We were at a cafe and we talked about childhoods, growing up, favorite colors, and silly stuff like that.

Then things became serious. She asked, "Who's your favorite Sesame Street character?"

That was a no-brainer. "Mr. Snuffleupagus. Yours?"

She gave me a dark stare and said, "Elmo. Duh."

I laughed because I still thought we were having a light-hearted talk. "Elmo? Lame."

She raised her voice. "Elmo saved my life." She paused then added, "Dick."

She suddenly wasn't kidding anymore. I asked her, "Are you being serious?"

She replied, "I am. It's taking all the willpower in the world for me to not splash you in the face with my coffee."

That clicked things down a few notches. She really wasn't kidding and all of the happiness, enthusiasm, and joy was gone. I finished my lunch, stood up, and told her, "Okay, well get in touch if you want."

"I won't," she said.

I left.


  1. Tickle Me Elmo kids grew up tickled be crazy.As the Count would say"One,one crazy chick...ah,ah,ah,ah,ah.

  2. Agree with Archie. Snuffleapagus? Really?! That's such a trying-too-hard-to-be-ironic hipster thing to say.

    I prefer Murray and his little lamb...

  3. Elmo is love. Elmo is life.

  4. OP should have brought up the statutory rape allegations against Kevin Clash and really watched her head explode. Elmo's a freeeeeak.

  5. Snuffy WAS real and was outed as real after Sesame Street’s writers realized having adults constantly tell Big Bird they don’t believe him was a terrible idea.

    That said, the correct answer is Ernie.


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