Forever Cologne

(What did I learn at last month's Austin Film Festival? Click here to find out on this week's Jared's Inkwell! And Happy Thanksgiving! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Donna:

I met Rob online and we went to a diner together. The problem was that he wore enough cologne to knock out half the west coast. I could scarcely breathe. But that wasn't the half of it! No! He kept putting more on throughout the date! Every few minutes he took out a little bottle, dabbed his fingers with it, and spread it up and down his face and neck.

I ordered chicken tacos and he ordered a Thanksgiving sandwich. While we waited for our food he kept applying more and more cologne. I could scarcely take it anymore.

When our meals arrived I had lost my appetite. He picked up on it and asked me what was wrong.

I told him, "It's the cologne. I'm sorry."

He replied, "No it's not. It's just your tacos. They've probably gone bad." He then yelled to the server, clear across the diner, "Her tacos smell bad! We need replacement tacos, here!"

I said, quieter, "It's not the tacos! It's your cologne!"

He said, "It isn't. I'll get you replacement tacos. Don't worry."

In protest I started on the tacos, and they actually tasted good if not for the pervasive smell of his hideous cologne. Rob said, "You don't have to eat them if they're bad. I don't want you to get sick."

Oh, I ate them all right. My head had started to hurt because of the smell and so I put money down on the table, told him I wasn't feeling well, and stood up to leave.

"Not feeling well?" he asked, "I know it's because of the tacos. It's not my cologne. I know that for a fact. It's not my cologne."

Trust me: it was. I was never so thankful to be up and out of a date in my life.


  1. Rob should rn for president. He seems to have the right attitude.

  2. Perhaps I'm just a no-nonsense kind of girl, but I have no problem telling someone they smell. What baffles me is why she would continue to stay if he was obviously trying to add more Axe to get more girls on him (which clearly didn't work, since it repelled the one girl who did want to give him a chance). At least she redeemed herself by paying for her own meal and taking off.

  3. My guess is body odor issues(there is a medical condition that causes one to smell like rotten fish/garbage) so he keeps putting cologne to try to conceal it. I had a friend who had that. Otherwise he is just nuts!


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