Wink a Dink Dink

(Five ways to make your characters pop on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Robert:

Constance and I were having a picnic when a young couple she knew walked by. She jumped up and hugged them. She introduced them to me as former campers she had when she was a summer camp counselor.

She was obviously really happy to see them and the conversation went pretty normally until she asked the guy, "How's your winkie?"

He clearly wasn't expecting that question and he laughed it off and said, "It's... it's fine."

She turned to me and said, "Brad here ran crying into the counselor station one day. He said that he thought his dick was coming off. Turns out he just had a really good dream the night before and he was sore. If you get my meaning."

She laughed but she was the only one. Brad, the other girl, and I were suddenly pretty uncomfortable. Brad said, "Yeah, that was like 10 years ago," but Constance wasn't done.

"He put up such a fuss that we had to call his mother. She's a doctor and she had to tell him over the phone that winkies don't just pop off!" She laughed and laughed.

Clearly done with the conversation, Brad said, "We're going. Good to see you Constance."

The Constance said, "How's your winkie, Brad?" and she laughed at him as he hurried away.

We sat back down but Constance wouldn't shut up about Brad's winkie misadventure. She even said, "I nicknamed him 'Winkie' and all the counselors called him that for the rest of that summer!"

Since Constance really came off as something like a monster, that was our only date.


  1. What's up with all these clueless dudes? Homegirl obviously has a penis fixation, and you're not interested??? SMH...

    Please send her MY way... I'LL give her a winkie she won't forget...

  2. "He put up such a fuss that we had to call his mother. She's a doctor and she had to tell him over the phone that winkies don't just pop off!"

    Obviously she doesn't know what happens when you eat gluten.

    Also for Magnolia Rattus, NSFW.

  3. Thanks The Architect, you da best. I still opened it but this time my boss wasn't printing something behind me.

  4. Oblivious and ended up being a bully because of it. That would turn me off from a date too


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