Too Clever a Washerman

Story Sent in by Ernestine:

I was out with Jeff for the first time. Very shortly after we sat down, he complained very loudly that the restaurant windows were dirty. They weren't any better or worse than any restaurant windows I had previously seen and it was weird that he was paying more attention to them than to me.

He left the table to go to the bathroom to grab damp paper towels and he wiped down the windows. All of them. At first I thought that the staff would stop him but they either didn't care or didn't notice.

He only stopped when the waitress came by with our dinners. He sat down and said, "I should give the windows another go-round, but they're much better, now. So, how are you?"

I said, "I guess I'm all right. Do you always clean the windows whenever you go out?"

He said, "Only if they need it. And they usually do. I sometimes get free meals out of it."

When the check came, they did not credit him anything for having cleaned the windows. He looked at the bill, said, "Be right back," and went back to washing the windows for a little bit.

When it was clear that we were going to have to pay full price for dinner, he begrudgingly paid. I offered to help but he insisted. That was our only date.


  1. I was hoping this guy was just OCD and OP had scored a guy that liked to clean. Nope, more like the bum that uses newspaper and a bucket of dirty water to smear your windshield in traffic hoping for a hand-out. He was a bum OP. You went on a date with a bum.

  2. ...and missed out on the best night of toothless bumsecks of her life...

  3. Days since random misplaced comma spotted: 0

    1. Those have been ...not exactly bugging me, but catching my eye, ever since this site started. Normally I really hate misplaced punctuation but I have a weird sort of affection for Jared's commas.

    2. Also, I used some weird-ass punctuation there myself.

    3. Days since random nitpicker commenter took the time to sign in to mention that she had a problem with how a blog punctuates stuff: 0

    4. JMG's punctuation is both correct & old school. The man knows his classics, I'll warrant.

    5. I missed the one in this article! Good spotting, Beth!

  4. For some of us girls, it's intelligence, looks or humor, but for others, it's a guy who can take charge of some dirty windows no matter where he is!


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